DUDE - I'm Gettin' Hitched!

“Take delight in the Lord, and
He will give you
your heart’s desires.”

Psalm 37:4

“…Wherever you go, I will go; wherever you live, I will live. You people will be my people, and your God will be my God.”
~Ruth 1:16

Hello Blogging Universe!

Been too long since I posted here, but I feel like it’s time now. 

I’m posting because I have to share something about this picture:

Most would describe what they see as pure joy and goofiness; a candid moment.  What do I see? Not just a glimpse into my every day with this dude, but an answer to prayer.

It’s amazing how God works things out that seem impossible.  If you’ve ever read my blog posts in the past, you know I was single a painfully long time.  I prayed a LOT of prayers, begged, pleaded and cried an ocean of tears to not do life alone anymore.  More than once I begged the Holy Spirit to make me understand why I was single for so long.
Turns out, I was living in the wrong state.  Hahaha

Well, maybe there was more to it than that, but I digress.

During all those oh-so-glamourous-heart-wrenching-moments-with-God, He revealed something to me.

I will never forget the moment He showed me a picture of my future- at the time, I was in misery.  I was lonely, hadn’t been asked out on a date in months, seemingly invisible to the opposite sex.  My heart was aching for someone to love and love me back. 
Like I had done some many times before, I poured my heart out to the Lord, begging, pleading, snotting, crying, and when I got all my words out, I asked for a promise, a glimpse, something to hold onto to keep me from losing my mind altogether.

God revealed a picture to me – a literal picture.  It was huge and sitting on a mantel over a fireplace. It was a picture of my wedding day at the altar with my husband and the minister.  Of course, all I could make out was 2 blobs where the guys were however, I could see myself clearly.  I was laughing like an idiot.  I had that huge mouth gaping, belly laugh expression on my face – clearly I was cracking up at something.  I remember hearing the Lord say, ‘I am preparing you for a marriage full of joy and laughter.  Trust me.’

Talk about humbling.  My first marriage had been such a nightmare and there was rarely laughing and absolutely no joy between us.  It was almost a concept I couldn’t fathom.  I mean, I knew that it would be better, but I didn’t know how much.

“You found parts of me I didn’t know existed and in you I found a love I no longer believed was real.”

~Unknown

As the years went by, I kept that picture tucked away in my heart and clung to it in the many periods of loneliness.

Fast forward to March of 2016 – I meet this police officer while I’m temping for the City of River Falls.  We start chatting and I flirt and he’s clueless (which should tell you about my flirting skills).  He has a quirky sense of humor and a sensitivity that draws me to him.  That August, we start really talking – more than just small talk in the break room.

By mid-September, we were in a relationship.

Check out this ring!!!!!

Since that time, we’ve been through the ringer.  We’ve been through hell and back and have come out stronger and even more united.

When I say we belly laugh every day- I mean it.  We really do- we crack each other up on the regular.

“I love that you are my person and I am yours, that whatever door we come to, we will open it together.”

~A. R. Rasher~

Over the last 2 years, I’ve had that picture pop up from time to time but for the most part, it stayed tucked away.  I never even told Bryant about it- I hadn’t given up on it, but I know that sometimes things don’t look exactly like we think they will.

I figured the picture the Lord showed me was indicative of a relationship of lots of laugher and all that junk- which I had.

I really thought that, and I was good with it.  That is, until I saw our engagement photos at 3am this morning and it slapped me right in the face.

I couldn’t believe what I was looking at.  No, it wasn’t a wedding picture, and I wasn’t with a minister, and I wasn’t in my amazing wedding dress, but it was the exact same expression I saw before.  Purely candid and full of joy, love, and so, so much happy.

We’re not perfect, but we are perfect for each other.  There is no question in my mind that Bryant is the fulfillment of God’s promise to me.
Bryant is proof that God is true to His word.

I never knew I could love this much or be this happy.  Bryant constantly challenges me to be a better person – constantly points me to the Father – and is the calm to my crazy.

Our relationship is further evidence that God always, ALWAYS brings beauty from ashes – especially when ashes are all we have to offer Him.

I’m so grateful for Bryant and I can’t wait to be his wife!!

Blessin’s, y’all!

Pamela (soon to be) Ekstrom

I'm Bucklin' Up and Gettin' Ready, and It's Already Bumpy...

 

As I get ready for these huge, possibly life-changing tests on Wednesday, my anxiety is at an all-time high.  My trust is where it should be, but my physical body just won’t get on board.

 

I'm leaning so heavily on one of my favorite chapters in the whole Bible today.  Psalm 18.

 

It’s my favorite depiction of how God rescues us.  I've posted it from the New Living Translation because it's just so vivid.

 

Sometimes we like to keep God in this snuggly Father figure box (which He most definitely is) where He just scoops us up and loves on us and kisses our boo boos; but sometimes it's important to have Him really reveal Himself to us as the powerful Almighty God of the Universe.

 

I love the way that David describes Him in this chapter because He is my rescuer and today, this is how I need to see Him.

 

The Almighty God of the Universe. 

I Am.

My Redeemer.

My Healer.

My King.

My God.

 

I need Him come down on His angelic beast and fight for me. 

 

All because He has heard my cry and He delights in me.

 

Not because of who I am, but just because of who He is and because of how much He loves me.

 

Yeah, I need Him to be that God today.

 

Psalm 18

For the choir director: A psalm of David, the servant of the Lord. He sang this song to the Lord on the day the Lord rescued him from all his enemies and from Saul. He sang:

1 I love you, Lord; you are my strength.

2 The Lord is my rock, my fortress, and my savior; my God is my rock, in whom I find protection.

He is my shield, the power that saves me, and my place of safety.

3 I called on the Lord, who is worthy of praise, and he saved me from my enemies.

4 The ropes of death entangled me; floods of destruction swept over me.

5 The grave wrapped its ropes around me; death laid a trap in my path.

6 But in my distress I cried out to the Lord; yes, I prayed to my God for help.

He heard me from his sanctuary; my cry to him reached his ears.

7 Then the earth quaked and trembled.  The foundations of the mountains shook; they quaked because of his anger.

8 Smoke poured from his nostrils; fierce flames leaped from his mouth.    Glowing coals blazed forth from him.

9 He opened the heavens and came down; dark storm clouds were beneath his feet.

10 Mounted on a mighty angelic being, he flew, soaring on the wings of the wind.

11 He shrouded himself in darkness, veiling his approach with dark rain clouds.

12 Thick clouds shielded the brightness around him and rained down hail and burning coals.

13 The Lord thundered from heaven; the voice of the Most High resounded

    amid the hail and burning coals.

14 He shot his arrows and scattered his enemies;  his lightning flashed, and they were greatly confused.

15 Then at your command, O Lord, at the blast of your breath, the bottom of the sea could be seen, and the foundations of the earth were laid bare.  

16 He reached down from heaven and rescued me; he drew me out of deep waters.

17 He rescued me from my powerful enemies, from those who hated me and were too strong for me.

18 They attacked me at a moment when I was in distress, but the Lord  supported me.

19 He led me to a place of safety; he rescued me because he delights in me.

20 The Lord rewarded me for doing right; he restored me because of my innocence.

21 For I have kept the ways of the Lord; I have not turned from my God to follow evil.

22 I have followed all his regulations; I have never abandoned his decrees.

23 I am blameless before God; I have kept myself from sin.

24 The Lord rewarded me for doing right. He has seen my innocence.

25 To the faithful you show yourself faithful; to those with integrity you show integrity.

26 To the pure you show yourself pure, but to the wicked you show yourself hostile.

27 You rescue the humble, but you humiliate the proud.

28 You light a lamp for me. The Lord, my God, lights up my darkness.

29 In your strength I can crush an army; with my God I can scale any wall.

30 God’s way is perfect. All the Lord’s promises prove true.  He is a shield for all who look to him for protection.

31 For who is God except the Lord?  Who but our God is a solid rock?

32 God arms me with strength, and he makes my way perfect.

33 He makes me as surefooted as a deer, enabling me to stand on mountain heights.

34 He trains my hands for battle; he strengthens my arm to draw a bronze bow.

35 You have given me your shield of victory.  Your right hand supports me;

    your help has made me great.

36 You have made a wide path for my feet to keep them from slipping. 

37 I chased my enemies and caught them; I did not stop until they were conquered.

38 I struck them down so they could not get up; they fell beneath my feet.

39 You have armed me with strength for the battle; you have subdued my enemies under my feet.

40 You placed my foot on their necks.  I have destroyed all who hated me.

41 They called for help, but no one came to their rescue.  They even cried to the Lord, but he refused to answer.

42 I ground them as fine as dust in the wind.  I swept them into the gutter like dirt.

43 You gave me victory over my accusers.  You appointed me ruler over nations; people I don’t even know now serve me.

44 As soon as they hear of me, they submit; foreign nations cringe before me.

45 They all lose their courage and come trembling from their strongholds. 

46 The Lord lives! Praise to my Rock!  May the God of my salvation be exalted!

47 He is the God who pays back those who harm me; he subdues the nations under me

48 and rescues me from my enemies.  You hold me safe beyond the reach of my enemies; you save me from violent opponents.

49 For this, O Lord, I will praise you among the nations; I will sing praises to your name.

50 You give great victories to your king; you show unfailing love to your anointed, to David and all his descendants forever.

 



 

 

 

 

I am forever convinced that no matter what I do, what I go through, no matter how ugly it gets, and no matter how awesome it gets, there is absolutely, NO END TO HIS GOOD!

 

Blessin’s Y’all!

Pamela 

I can be reached at Pamela@ACreativeWord.com

www.ACreativeWord.com

 

It’s Just A Little Crush, So What?!

Daniel Dae Kim & Wife
 

Hugh Jackman & Wife
 



We live in a super-sexualized society where we worship and even idolize beautiful people.  Sex is everywhere and we’ve become desensitized to it because it’s everywhere. It’s only natural that we develop little crushes on celebrities, right?

 

So I had an intriguing thought the other day while watching an episode of Hawaii Five-0.I love this show- it’s entertaining, has plenty of suspense, and let’s face it; all of the actors are attractive and endearing in some way.

I have a particular crush on Daniel Dae Kim.  So what’s wrong with having a little crush on some good-looking actor?  I’m not stalking him, I’m not spending hours fantasizing about him, so what’s the harm? I’d make little comments about how hot he was, how I’d have his baby if he’d give me 5 minutes (I’ve also said this about Hugh Jackman) and little thoughts like that would just creep in and come out of my mouth before I even realized what I was doing.

Let’s be realistic here, there’s little chance that I’d ever meet him, and if I did somehow get the chance to see him in person, I can almost guarantee there would be no baby-making going on.

I did however realize that I was beginning to feel a tinge of conviction (not condemnation) whenever I would pin his pictures or I would make a comment to myself while watching the show.  His wife came to mind.  I had done some research on him and realized that he’s married, and has been for quite some time.  By me lusting after him (to whatever ‘harmless’ degree it was), I was dishonoring his wife, his marriage, and the covenant he made with his wife.

Ouch.

So it got me to thinking.  I had a Pinterest Board titled: “I’d have your baby…” and it was full of pictures of men (& woman) that were attractive/beautiful, and even people that I admired.  I posted these pictures with no regard whatsoever to what God might think about my actions.

What if the celebrity (or stranger off the street for that matter), is not married- should you even worry about it?

Well, this is what God says:

“But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman (or man) with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” Matthew 5:28 NLT

It’s just a bad idea.  It may seem harmless and innocent because the odds of even having an opportunity to act on it are slim to none, but it does have real implications, even if they aren’t obvious.

I’ll give you an example:
I knew a woman who was infatuated with a famous musician and constantly posted pictures of him on Facebook, often in a provocative pose, and she’d even send them to her friends as a ‘pick me up’. Even when she was around her husband, she’d talk about how hot this guy was and what she’d do to him if she had the opportunity.  After a while, her husband began to hate this guy, hated just hearing the sound of his name, and would voice his opinions to his wife about his disdain for this guy.

He began to pull away from her intimately.

She couldn’t understand why and she came to me.

 

Now, I don’t proclaim to have any infinite wisdom here on marriage, but I do know a thing or two about how not to have a healthy marriage and have a little hard-earned wisdom on how to make different, better choices in the future.

She was frustrated with her husband for suddenly not wanting her anymore and even questioned his faithfulness to her.  I asked her to consider having the tables turned for a minute.

What if he was infatuated with a gorgeous celebrity? What if he talked about her the way she talked about this guy?  What if he spent hours looking at her pictures online and sharing them with his friends?  What if he did this right in front of her?  How would she feel?

Her answer was simple: “I’d feel like he wanted her more than he wanted me.  I’d feel like I couldn’t measure up to what he has built up as perfection in his mind. I’d feel like he was settling for me.”

Even Christians fall into this trap.  Pointing this out, is probably not going to make me popular, but I’ve never been one to set out to make new friends and influence people.

No condemnation here, but my goal is to challenge you to allow the Holy Spirit to reveal truth to you, and be open to hear what He might have to say.

Any time you allow your thoughts to rule you, you open the door for sin to enter.  It doesn’t have to be a famous person, it can be some guy in your office, or some woman you see at Starbuck’s every morning, it just has to be someone who is not your spouse.

Let me encourage you if you’re like me and felt that little ping of conviction: there’s grace for that.  God’s not punishing you for having those feelings and desires for someone, but He does want you to take authority over your thoughts and not give the enemy any legal access to the door of sexual sins.

He wants you to live a life of freedom and that always starts with what you allow into your mind, which makes its way into your heart. Want to know what’s in your heart? Listen more carefully to what you’re speaking.

Matthew 12:34 says that from the abundance of

the heart, the mouth speaks.

I was convicted, that doesn’t mean that you will or should be, but it is actually an answer to prayer for something I had asked God at the beginning of the year: to expand my territory, take me even deeper into intimacy with Him, and allow me to be more sensitive to what the Holy Spirit is saying.

That’s happening.  I asked that because I wanted to grow.  I don’t ever want to be content in my walk with God, I want to be stretched and used to the full capacity that He will use me.

This just happens to be an area that He is stretching and challenging me in right now.

Now, I’m asking you to be challenged; trust God enough to ask to be stretched, to help you grow, and to be make you more sensitive to the Holy Spirit.

Blessin’s Y’all!

Pamela Hill

Please visit our website: www.ACreativeWord.com

I can be reached by email at: Pamela@ACreativeWord.com

 

 

Daniel's pic was found here.

Hugh's pic was found here.



 

 

 

 

 

Trust You? Seriously??

Proverbs 3:5 (NLT)

⁵ Trust in the Lord with all your heart;
do not depend on your own understanding.

So explain something to me, Father.  Why would I trust you with something so delicate and close to my heart as this burden that I carry regarding financial struggle, when clearly You’ve always, always taken care of me?  Why would I trust you when You’ve never, not one time failed me?  Why would I listen to your still small voice telling me to trust You when I have my own wisdom and understanding to lean on?

Oh, that’s right… cause I don’t know jack. 

You, however, are full of infinite wisdom and understanding and you have knowledge of things I’ve yet to dream of.

See, I’m struggling today with trust.  And when I don’t trust my Father to take care of me when He promises that He’ll never forsake me, I rob myself.

I have to go to court to take care of something that is very personal to me.  No need to get into details here, but it’s a painful ordeal for me.  It’s unjust and unfair, and the odds are not in my favor as the world may see it.  That’s the attitude that I had this morning as I was gathering supporting evidence (which isn’t much) for my side of the case.  It was nothing less than discouraging and forced me to pour over angry and bitter emails duking it out between the two of us over who was right and who was not.  At lunchtime, I’d had enough and I went to my Father and poured my angry soul out to Him.  Then I had to shut up and listen.  This is what the Holy Spirit said to me…

Every time you don’t trust Me, your Father, you take away an opportunity for me to pleasantly surprise you.  By you not trusting Me, you show Me an attitude of ungratefulness for the times that you have trusted Me.  You believe that I am a liar when I say that I will take care of you.  When you don’t trust Me, you rob yourself of the precious gifts that I have only for you.  When you don’t trust Me, you show me that you believe that you know better than I do, that your judgment is more sound than My own.  You know more than I, the Creator, and Master of the Universe about the things that affect your past, present, and future.  I tell you My precious one, to NOT lean on your own understanding, that your thoughts are not my thoughts, and that My love and provisions for you are limitless.  See, while you only know what is happening right in front of your face right this very moment, I know the things that you do not. Nothing is hidden from Me.  What you fail to see is I have already gone before you and prepared a way for you.

One thing I know for sure is that He is right and I am not.  I don’t need to understand.  I don’t need to know what’s going to happen when this is all over with.  All I need to know is that I can trust my Father. 

Satan is the author of confusion, distress, and chaos.  He’s certainly been working on this for a while and creating havoc anywhere this is concerned.

I know that my Father has gone before me, I know that no matter what my outcome may be, He’s already taken care of it.  He’s already made provision where it is needed; He’s already given me favor where it is needed; and He’s already ministered in ways that I know nothing of.

I trust Him.  His infinite knowledge and wisdom and not to mention power, is far greater than my own. 

My prayer is simply this:  That He would change my heart to be a reflection of His.  Even when I have to face my enemies (and He says that I will), that He would give me the ability to love them the way that He does, even when they don’t deserve it.  I certainly didn’t.  We ALL fall short, but His love is wide enough, deep enough, and eager enough to cover it all.  We are His beloved, even when we don’t act like it.

I know that for some of you may feel like what the Holy Spirit said was a little harsh, but I believe it to be nothing more than the truth- and I felt so loved and cared for while He spoke to me.  Why?  Because He’s the best parent, and that’s what great parents do for their children.  They guide them, and sometimes, they point out the ugly in our attitudes, but they love us in spite of ourselves. 

Let me encourage you, if you’re struggling with trust- and I do on a constant basis, ask the Father to reveal His truth to you.

If you can’t trust Him to handle your life, then why follow Him at all?

Ever Been Ransomed? I Have...

Psalm 45:11 (NIV)
¹¹ Let the king be enthralled by your beauty;
   honor him, for he is your lord.

Very recently I had an event occur in my life in which I just felt ashamed.  It felt like I had taken a few steps forward and then a huge leap back. 

I was crushed.  My heart was so broken because I just knew that He had to be as disappointed in me as I was in myself.

Well, that was lie. 

It wasn't a huge leap back, it was a little stumble backwards, and I hadn't fallen so far that I was out of my Father's reach. 

Has that ever happened to you?  When you were trying to live a holy life and you just slipped and did something you knew in your heart wasn’t pleasing to Him?

Because of this experience, I have an even deeper, more real knowledge of His grace. 

He ransomed me that day, like so many other times.

I was born into a life of sin, one that I continued to live into adulthood.  A life of sex, drugs, alcohol, violence, rage, anger, depression, thoughts of suicide, inadequacy, hopelessness, and disappointment. 

I was captive in that life.  I couldn't get out of my own accord.  Nothing I did seemed to even lessen the pain that I was caught up in.  I certainly tried everything that the world offered, more drugs, sex, alcohol, and the list goes on.  I was raised in church, I knew all about Jesus and I knew His word, however, a bunch of head knowledge doesn't make me 'know' Him.  I knew of Him, but I didn't know this 'savior', and for many years, I didn't quite understand what I was actually being saved from.  I thought all Christians dealt with this life and that by just going to church, well, that'd get me into Heaven and it would all be a lot better there.  I knew that others struggled, but I thought that was just how it was supposed to be.  You pay your tithes, you spend your hours working for the Lord at church, and you said your ‘amen's’ at the appropriate time to support your pastor. 

I still didn't really know my Savior.  The One who ransomed me Himself.  I heard a preacher use the word ‘ransom’ to describe what Jesus had done for him.  It stuck with me even though I didn’t really understand the deepest meaning of what he was referring to at the time.

Sure, I knew that I'd been saved from going to hell and all, but what else could I have been saved from??  I needed to be saved from my life. 

Even as a Christian, I needed to be rescued from the life I had built for myself.  I loved the Lord and I served Him, but I still didn't know Him.  I constantly struggled in so many areas of my life with addiction and desperation and most of the time, I felt so alone.

But then, something incredible happened. Mercy reached in to save me...And it was so beautiful. 

Talk about an enlightenment…

I was finally able to grasp the concept of real grace. 

Believe me when I say that I’ve had my share of moments when it was impossible to look at myself in the mirror out of shame and guilt.   Thankfully, it’s not about what I see when I look in the mirror, it’s not about how I feel about myself, or even how I view myself as a person.  It’s about what HE sees when He looks at me.  When my Father looks at me, He sees Jesus, in whom He is well pleased.  He sees grace and mercy.  I can’t earn the love that He has for me by doing good works, living a certain way, acting a certain way, or even by saying the right things.  He freely gives it to me. 

This is a relationship, an intimate relationship; He knows the crevices of my heart, soul, and spirit and nothing is hid from Him.  And He loves me the same. 

I am fearfully and wonderfully made and He is enthralled by my beauty! (Ps. 45:11)

Now, I walk in a freedom that I’ve never really known before.  There’s grace and mercy as payment for my sins.  They pardon my guilt and shame.  Because of His grace, and His mercy, I’m able to live a life that is pleasing to Him.  It’s with His strength that I’m able to finally be happy and free from condemnation and legalism.

Why doesn’t the church talk about this??  Isn't this ransoming what salvation is really all about?!  All my life, I've been taught that salvation was living by a set of rules that were impossible for most to live.  Salvation was something that you had to earn and work hard to maintain.  For most, hell is a far off distance from where they are right this instant, the life they're leading right now (a religious life maybe?), is probably what they really need to be ransomed from.

My savior is only a cry away.  He hears me because He's right there with me, leading my every step.

It’s about relationship people, NOT religion.  Going to church every time the doors are open don’t make me a Christian any more than going to Alaska makes me a penguin (somebody has to get that!).

My prayer today is that whether you find yourself in a place where you need to be ransomed or not, that you have the realization that God is real, and He desires an intimate relationship with you.  He created you for Himself, but you must choose Him.

He wants to be your everything, because you are His whole world.

Blessings!

Pamela

Video found here.