Daniel Dae Kim & Wife |
Hugh Jackman & Wife |
We
live in a super-sexualized society where we worship and even idolize beautiful
people. Sex is everywhere and we’ve
become desensitized to it because it’s everywhere. It’s only natural that we
develop little crushes on celebrities, right?
So
I had an intriguing thought the other day while watching an episode of Hawaii Five-0.I love this show- it’s
entertaining, has plenty of suspense, and let’s face it; all of the actors are
attractive and endearing in some way.
I
have a particular crush on Daniel Dae Kim.
So what’s wrong with having a little crush on some good-looking actor? I’m not stalking him, I’m not spending hours
fantasizing about him, so what’s the harm? I’d make little comments about how
hot he was, how I’d have his baby if he’d give me 5 minutes (I’ve also said
this about Hugh Jackman) and little thoughts like that would just creep in and
come out of my mouth before I even realized what I was doing.
Let’s
be realistic here, there’s little chance that I’d ever meet him, and if I did
somehow get the chance to see him in person, I can almost guarantee there would
be no baby-making going on.
I
did however realize that I was beginning to feel a tinge of conviction (not
condemnation) whenever I would pin his pictures or I would make a comment to
myself while watching the show. His wife
came to mind. I had done some research
on him and realized that he’s married, and has been for quite some time. By me lusting after him (to whatever
‘harmless’ degree it was), I was dishonoring his wife, his marriage, and the
covenant he made with his wife.
Ouch.
So
it got me to thinking. I had a Pinterest
Board titled: “I’d have your baby…” and it was full of pictures of men (&
woman) that were attractive/beautiful, and even people that I admired. I posted these pictures with no regard
whatsoever to what God might think about my actions.
What
if the celebrity (or stranger off the street for that matter), is not married-
should you even worry about it?
Well,
this is what God says:
“But I say,
anyone who even looks at a woman (or man) with lust has already committed
adultery with her in his heart.” Matthew 5:28 NLT
It’s just a bad idea. It may seem harmless and innocent because the
odds of even having an opportunity to act on it are slim to none, but it does
have real implications, even if they aren’t obvious.
I’ll
give you an example:
I knew a woman who was infatuated with a famous musician and constantly posted pictures of him on Facebook, often in a provocative pose, and she’d even send them to her friends as a ‘pick me up’. Even when she was around her husband, she’d talk about how hot this guy was and what she’d do to him if she had the opportunity. After a while, her husband began to hate this guy, hated just hearing the sound of his name, and would voice his opinions to his wife about his disdain for this guy.
I knew a woman who was infatuated with a famous musician and constantly posted pictures of him on Facebook, often in a provocative pose, and she’d even send them to her friends as a ‘pick me up’. Even when she was around her husband, she’d talk about how hot this guy was and what she’d do to him if she had the opportunity. After a while, her husband began to hate this guy, hated just hearing the sound of his name, and would voice his opinions to his wife about his disdain for this guy.
He
began to pull away from her intimately.
She
couldn’t understand why and she came to me.
Now,
I don’t proclaim to have any infinite wisdom here on marriage, but I do know a
thing or two about how not to have a healthy marriage and
have a little hard-earned wisdom on how to make different, better choices in
the future.
She
was frustrated with her husband for suddenly not wanting her anymore and even
questioned his faithfulness to her. I
asked her to consider having the tables turned for a minute.
What
if he was infatuated with a gorgeous celebrity? What if he talked about her the
way she talked about this guy? What if
he spent hours looking at her pictures online and sharing them with his
friends? What if he did this right in
front of her? How would she feel?
Her
answer was simple: “I’d feel like he wanted her more than he wanted me. I’d feel like I couldn’t measure up to what
he has built up as perfection in his mind. I’d feel like he was settling for
me.”
Even
Christians fall into this trap. Pointing
this out, is probably not going to make me popular, but I’ve never been one to
set out to make new friends and influence people.
No
condemnation here, but my goal is to challenge you to allow the Holy Spirit to
reveal truth to you, and be open to hear what He might have to say.
Any
time you allow your thoughts to rule you, you open the door for sin to enter. It doesn’t have to be a famous person, it can
be some guy in your office, or some woman you see at Starbuck’s every morning,
it just has to be someone who is not your spouse.
Let
me encourage you if you’re like me and felt that little ping of conviction:
there’s grace for that. God’s not
punishing you for having those feelings and desires for someone, but He does
want you to take authority over your thoughts and not give the enemy any legal
access to the door of sexual sins.
He
wants you to live a life of freedom and that always starts with what you allow
into your mind, which makes its way into your heart. Want to know what’s in
your heart? Listen more carefully to what you’re speaking.
Matthew 12:34
says that from the abundance of
the heart, the
mouth speaks.
I
was convicted, that doesn’t mean that you will or should be, but it is actually
an answer to prayer for something I had asked God at the beginning of the year:
to expand my territory, take me even deeper into intimacy with Him, and allow
me to be more sensitive to what the Holy Spirit is saying.
That’s
happening. I asked that because I wanted
to grow. I don’t ever want to be content
in my walk with God, I want to be stretched and used to the full capacity that
He will use me.
This just happens to be an area that He
is stretching and challenging me in right now.
Now,
I’m asking you to be challenged; trust God enough to ask to be stretched, to
help you grow, and to be make you more sensitive to the Holy Spirit.
Blessin’s
Y’all!
Pamela
Hill
Please visit our website: www.ACreativeWord.com
I can be reached by email at: Pamela@ACreativeWord.com
But I recall an older blog by you writing about how you thought it was ok to read the "Shades of Gray" books....how is that not lustful? Have you changed your feelings on that as well?
ReplyDeleteThank you for reading my blog!
DeleteIt seems like you're referencing this particular blog post: http://thebeautifulprisoner.blogspot.com/2012/07/little-condemnation-ahem-i-mean.html
where I shared some of my past experiences.
In *that* particular blog, my purpose was to point readers to a personal conversation with God /Holy Spirit for guidance in their choices.
*Today,* I had a different purpose. Today I wanted to share that I recently realized something: that what I thought was okay, and even slightly humorous, is something Jesus warns me not to do.
I wanted to share my experience, hoping to help someone else.
I hope that helps you make more sense of my views. I strongly advocate conversations with God regarding our choices-- and I'm convinced that He'll never tell us to do what His Word calls sin.
Thank you for giving me an opportunity to clarify my position!