Worry Much?

Did you realize that worry and trust actually go hand in hand? You can't have one without the lack of the other.

If you worry a lot, then you have little or no trust; if you trust a lot, then you have little or no worry.

Some would like to fool themselves and say that they're the 'middle of the road-ers'; well, the Word states that you are either one or the other.

Psalm 62:8 tells us to put all of our trust in God- if we do that, then we can't worry.

I think that worry is simply our fighting with our own lack of control.

I like control, but I've also learned that I don't really have control over anything in my life or my environment except myself.

There was a phase in my life where I fought to control everything in my life, everything in my environment and everyone in it. Needless to say, I failed miserably.

When you live a life of being controlling, you will constant battle a feeling of failure and frustration.

I'll be honest, I'm great at worrying. I can work myself up with the best of 'em!

Currently, I'm dealing with this in my life.

I mean, right this second, I'm battling worry and the stress of having little control.

Being a survivor of rape, I have this intense need to control my environment- in this case, I'm talking about my home.

My current landlord, is a jerk. He's inconsiderate, cheap, and kind of a bully. Did I mention he's a tad chauvinist in that he thinks he can intimidate young women using their own ignorance against them?

See, just this week, the Father blessed me with an opportunity that I hadn't even really been praying for but secretly really wanted. I currently live in an old duplex that is in bad condition (I do the best I can to make it nice) with a slummy landlord that quite frankly, doesn't give a damn. I wanted to live in my own house- I didn't care of it was a rent house, as long as the landlord was good to me. I'm an impeccable renter so I felt that I deserve to be respected and treated fairly by my landlord.

I was blessed with a house this week! I get to move in June 29th (because I walk in the Favor of my Father) and it just so happens to be right across the street from my current establishment. It's bigger, more up-to-date and I've known the landlord literally, all my life. God's pretty amazing that way.

I gave my notice on June 1st along with my last month's rent check. Man, it felt good! Unfortunately, that feeling was short-lived. Two days later, he starts texting me that he wants to show my house to potential renters. Uh, huh?

I knew that he had done that to my neighbors and he was pretty obnoxious about it and most of the time, he didn't give them notice, just showed up. That does not fly well with me at all, I don't like surprises and to be frank, I don't like surprise visitors at my house.

Well, he texted me about one appointment this morning- I reluctantly agreed and forced Daisy and Chester outside for the morning. I came home at lunch (like I always do) and let them back in and sat down with the remote with my lunch and some down time.

All of the sudden, there's a knock on the door- there he is with another potential renter. The dogs are going nuts and I end up putting them back outside while they peruse through my home.

I hate this.

Then, about 3pm, he texts me with: "I have someone that needs to see your house at 4pm".

This time, I was all, 'No. I can't get home to put the dogs up, I can be available at 6pm tonight.'

Nada.

No. Response. Whatsoever.

This stresses me out more than one can imagine. My co-worker has dogs that are her children and insisted that I go drive by my home and see if he ignored me (like he has in the past). Luckily, he didn't.

Still, this has kept me in knots all day long. Now, I'm concerned every time I leave my house that he's going to text me (or not) and just show up anyway.

To make matters worse, I have neighbors that are meth-addicts. I'm so not making this up- I live in a desirable, almost non-existent neighborhood and these new people move in.

Needless to say, they're having issues- domestic issues a couple of days ago, where I was tempted to call the police, and then last night- banging on the walls in the middle of the night, ripping me and the dogs from a dead sleep wondering what in the world was going on.

Between my neighbors, my landlord, and just the general stress of moving- my stomach is in knots and my hair is wearing thin.

Then, in the midst of my turmoil, I hear that still, small, voice say: "Do you trust Me?"...

Hhhhmmm, "Yes, but, You don't realize...." I can't even finish the statement because there's this resounding "Do you trust Me?" bouncing around in my spirit.

Ugh... If I ignore it, it will go away. Right? No. At least, not yet. I go on Pinterest to distract myself, what do I run across?? A picture with 5 "Trust Him" quotes on it.

Okay- fine, I'll stop trying to control my world and I'll, ugh, trust You.

What specifically do I need to trust Him with right in this moment?

· Wisdom (on responding to my neighbors and my landlord)

· Favor (that he'll realize this is huge invasion of my privacy and unacceptable; I'll get my deposit back with no worries, and just generally respect me and my space that I'm paying for and stop trying to show it beforehand)

· Instruction (What I should do if he doesn't do the above)

· Discernment (This applies mostly to mine and the dogs safety and general dealings with my neighbors)

· Peace (because, I need it. Badly. Right now.)

· Just that He's going to do what He said He'd do, which is HANDLE THIS SO I DON'T HAVE TO.

When am I ever going to really grab a hold of that knowledge?!

I find myself asking God to help me trust Him. I want to. I know it's in MY best interest to do so. I know that just getting alone in His presence is what will give me the peace that I am in desperate need of. So why do I fight it?

I hate the lack of control. Thankfully, that's an area that the Father is healing me in every day. I'm learning to let go and just let Him handle it. I'm not totally there yet, but I'm getting closer and closer every day.

If you're still with me- and I wouldn't blame you for jumping ship a few paragraphs ago; I pray that you find comfort and reassurance in what the Father says about worrying and trusting Him.

Here are 5 things the Bible says about worry:

Philippians 4:6-7 (NLT)

Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.

Matthew 6:26-27 (NLT)

Look at the birds. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren’t you far more valuable to him than they are? Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?

1 Peter 5:7 (NLT)

Give all your worries and cares to God, for
he cares about you.

Matthew 11:28-30 (NLT)

Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.”

Psalm 62:8 (NLT)
O my people, trust in him at all times.

Pour out your heart to him,

for God is our refuge.
 

I pray that you are encouraged and that you learn to really trust Him; that you really learn that He really does have it all under control. He hasn't forgotten you. He knows how dire your situation or desires might be. Give Him a chance to show you something really beautiful.

Please join us over at A Creative Word and get the HELP that you need to you know, just do your life!

Blessings!!

Pamela

I can be reached at Pamela@aCreativeWord.com.

 

Forgiveness - Ugh, Do I Have To?!

Ephesians 4:32 (NLT)

Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.

*Insert whiny voice here*

Forgiveness is not my favorite topic of discussion.  It is unpopular, it’s not fun, and it is usually painful. 

It’s also one that reminds me of where I am sure to fall short.  That being said, it's on my heart today.

Over my lifetime, I’ve had many unpleasant things happen to me, many people have hurt me, wounded me, and done things to me that most would agree are unreasonable to forgive.

There was a time in my walk with the Lord that I tried to rationalize with Him about forgiveness (haha, yeah, I’m going to ‘reason’ with the Creator of the Universe, right).  I’d say things like: “Well, Father, I’ve already forgiven these people that hurt me this way, so because I forgave them for such a big thing, I should be given a free pass on this one who just hurt me a little bit.”

Uh, God doesn’t work that way. 

Harboring unforgiveness is like holding onto a hot curling iron and not letting go.

Eventually, it will destroy that thing that holds it.

You can tell yourself all you want that it’s not as hot as it seems and it’s not as painful as it looks, but the truth is it’s destroying the tissues in your hand.  Once you’ve initially grabbed hold of that curling iron, whether intentionally or not, it’s surprisingly hot and it’s likely to leave a blister that may go away on its own. 

However, the longer you hold onto the hot iron, the deeper the burn will go and the more likely it is to leave a permanent scar.

Every time you look down, you’ll see that scar and be reminded of that particular wound.

It’s the same way when people wound us.  Usually, at first, we’re surprised that they hurt us and it may only take us a short time to realize that we must let go of that hurt and forgive them.  It will probably leave a small (if at all) trace of what happened.

On the other hand, if we choose to hold onto that hurt, the deeper the damage to our hearts, and sometimes our souls.  This leaves a permanent abrasion so that every time we face that abrasion, we remember those who wounded us and the hurt spreads like a infection, ultimately destroying us.

Unforgiveness does nothing but create additional pain, resentment, bitterness, and is the stealer of our joy, thus sapping our strength and health (Nehemiah 8:10).

Maybe you’re the person that needs forgiveness.  We’ve all been there, and as long we’re living and breathing on this earth, we’ll always be in a position where we’ll need forgiveness from others.

There have been things in my life that I’ve had to forgive myself of: adultery, not being good example of what a Godly woman is to my daughters, being deceitful, being prideful and entitled, and being malicious and spiteful when it suited me.

Sometimes the person that is the hardest to forgive is yourself. 

I heard someone remark today that they were going to seek peace about an individual that wronged them by going to church every Sunday. 

While going to church is a good, healthy way to enhance your Christian walk, it will not bring you lasting peace.

We live in a world that is craving true and saturating peace; a peace that this world cannot give them.  They are yearning for something that will heal those permanent wounds in their lives and are crying out.

Instead of just pointing people to ‘church’, we should be pointing them to Jesus.

I advised this acquaintance of mine that church is good, but if she wants real peace (& the ability to forgive this person), she’s only going to find that in an intimate relationship with the Father and quality time spent in His presence.

Asking for and giving out forgiveness is not something to be taken lightly.  God certainly doesn’t and He expects us to make it the top priority in our lives. 

Mark 11:25 (NLT)

 “But when you are praying, first forgive anyone you are holding a grudge against, so that your Father in heaven will forgive your sins, too.”

Matthew 6:15 (NLT)

“But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins.”

As a Christian, we not simply asked to forgive, we’re commanded to do it, Peter asked Jesus how many times he had to forgive his neighbor, and Jesus’ reply was seventy-times-seven. (Matthew 18: 21-22)

Okay, that’s math I won’t do and I’m too lazy to keep track, so I’m just going to go with, I’m supposed to forgive them every time they wrong me.

Does that mean that I have to continue to have them in my life if they’re causing severe damage?  Does that mean that I have to continue having a relationship with them? 

If the Lord has released you to kick them to the curb, do it, but with Godly love.

I know that forgiveness is hard, and I know that there are most certainly things and people in our lives that we, in our own strength, simply cannot forgive.

That’s where our Father comes in.  It is with His strength and His ability that we’re able to do that.  It is only with His love that comes permanent healing and forgiveness is what paves the way to that permanent healing we're so desperate for.

We cannot be healed if we do not forgive.

Proverbs 17:9 (NLT)

Love prospers when a fault is forgiven,
but dwelling on it separates close friends.

Forgiveness and restoration go hand in hand, you cannot have one without the other. 

Unforgiveness creates a separation between you and someone else and prohibits true relationship.  No matter how miniscule the offense may be, for a time, there is separation and your love may become conditional.  Exercising true forgiveness creates restoration between you and the offending party and opens the door for unconditional love.

When you break a bone, it is said that when it heals, the bone is stronger that it was before it was broken.

I know that my God is more than capable of doing just that in relationships between His people.  I’ve seen it work in my own life.

Most importantly, forgiveness is not a feeling- it's not something we do when we 'feel that we are ready'; it's a commandment from God.  It's an act of sacrificial obedience.  We have to give up something - more often than not, control and stubbornness, in order to fulfill our obligation to God.

Is there someone in your life that you deem as unforgivable because of the hurt that they’ve caused you?  Maybe you feel that they are unworthy of your forgiveness? 
Despite the circumstances, when we sincerely forgive others who have wounded us, we are reinstated to freedom from that particular wound. We are no longer in agreement with what that hurt tells us to feel or how to act, we are able to choose our actions and not be ruled by that hurt any longer.  No matter what transpired or how deep that hurt goes, God promises to use it for our good.  He says that He uses everything, all things; not ‘some’ things, but all things for our good.

Romans 8:28 (NLT)

And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.

God’s a pretty smart guy like that, He knows what’s best for us and that harboring hurt and unforgiveness does nothing but poison us.  He says that He’s come so that we may have life and more abundantly- He wants us to be free and healthy, therefore, we must forgive those who hurt us.

I know that I fall short in this area but I am confident that I am a work in progress.

Philippians 1:6 (NLT)

And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.

 Let me encourage you today that if there is someone who you need to forgive, but you just can’t seem to do it in your strength, take refuge in the knowledge that you were never meant to do that on your own.  You have the power through your spoken word to exercise forgiveness through your Father.
Ask Him for help- ask Him to give you what you need in order to forgive.

He’s just waiting for you to cry out and ask for help. 

He’s anxiously waiting to hear from you. 

You are important to Him.

This is Matthew Wests' song and testimony about "Forgiveness" and can be found here.  It really blessed me.

After Steubenville: 25 Things Our Sons need to know about Manhood (Reblog)

If you don't know about the Steubenville story, you can find it here:

Steubenville Rape Case

The events at Steubenville really hit close to home for me. Not only did it repulse me, but it throw gas on the fire inside me that aches for wounded women. This young lady, most definitely has some serious wounds to deal with now. Fortunately, we have Savior that is more than able to heal those wounds and make her whole. I pray that people are placed in her life that will point her toward that healing.

No doubt that these young men also have heart wounds over this, and Jesus is more than able and more than willing to heal these young men also. I pray that He uses this for their good, and that a testimony of His grace and mercy is built to further the Kingdom.

A good friend of mine, Ginny Couch posted this blog post on Facebook yesterday and after reading it, I felt compelled to share this as well. I think it's important, especially to those parents raising sons, but I also feel like daughters need to realize as early as possible how the Father regards them. If they don't know how their Heavenly Father regards them, how will they ever have high enough standards of how boys/men should treat them?

Please take the time to read and if led, share this blog post.

Things that happened in Steubenville happen far more often than we realize, and with a little perspective and awareness, we can raise up men and women that don't tolerate incidents like this.

After Steubenville: 25 Things Our Sons need to know about Manhood

Be blessed and pray over your children daily!

So Where's Complaining Getting You?

My guess is, nowhere productive.

Proverbs 13:3 (NLT)

³ Those who control their tongue will have a long life;
opening your mouth can ruin everything.

  

Everywhere we go, people are talking and interacting with each other.  You can tell a lot about a conversation and the people behind by the words they choose, their tone of voice, and body language.

It never ceases to shock me at the way we talk to our loved ones sometimes.  Even in heated moments, I’m still shocked at the way we speak to our spouses, significant others, parents, and worst of all, our children.

I’ve been just as guilty of this as anyone.  In fact, one of the biggest regrets I have about my marriage is the way I spoke to my husband.  There were times that I was just downright mean and hateful.  I tried to blame it on his selfishness and me just trying to get my point across, but there really is no excuse for the disrespect I continually showed him.  What started out as just harsh words rapidly turned into screaming.  All. The. Time.  We couldn’t go a day without getting into it for one reason or another and there were always doors being slammed and yelling.  Our home was not a peaceful place, and definitely not a safe place.  I found myself trying to escape our home just to get some relief.  All because of the way we communicated (if you can call it that) at each other.  We didn’t talk with each other, we talked at each other.

Psalm 64:3 (NLT)

³ They sharpen their tongues like swords
and aim their bitter words like arrows. 

So many times I hear parents talking to their children in condescending tones out of frustration.  This breaks my heart- even more so when a parent is just flat hateful and intentionally hurtful with their words to their child.  The person they’re supposed to love more than anything in the whole world.  I, too, am guilty of this.  There were times with my step-daughters that I was short and condescending and yes, even hateful.  Fortunately, I learned to be gentler with my communication with them and we developed a healthy relationship.

A couple of weeks back, I was sitting in traffic with my truck running (duh), the windows up, and the radio blaring when I heard someone screaming.  I turned off the radio and looked around thinking there was trouble somewhere and there sure enough was.  This guy in the next lane and one car ahead of me was going ballistic in his car screaming at a female passenger.  It was horrifying.  The girl just sat there and took it.  He was flailing his arms around and at one point, it looked like he might hit her.  I looked over at the truck next to me (behind this maniac’s car) and the guy had the same expression of horror on his face.  I considered what to do.  I didn’t think I should get out of the car and go over there, but I didn’t think I could handle him hitting her in my presence either, so I laid on my horn.  I guess I was hoping with the diversion, she would wise up and get out of the car.  She didn’t.  But other cars caught on and start blaring their horns at this driver.  He then turned his attention toward us and off of her for the moment.  It was the only thing we could do to intervene than pray.  As I was picking up my phone to call the police the truck next to me showed me that he was calling... Needless to say, it shook me up.

The point of all of this is: our words can be destructive or constructive.  You’re either putting someone down or you’re lifting them up.  God says that our tongues can cause life or death.

Proverbs 18:21 (NLT)

²¹ The tongue can bring death or life;
those who love to talk will reap the consequences.

We tend to excuse our words and actions on others, stress, or our current circumstances, but the bottom line is, we ultimately make a choice on how to use our words.

I know that when I'm stressed and anxious, my words are less guarded and sometimes a little careless.  I know that in moments of anger or frustration I'll be especially short and inadvertantly hurtful. 

 

I'm dealing with this right now.  At this very moment, I'm more stressed and anxious than I've been in a while... added responsibility at work, very difficult semester, knee surgery and recovery, my aunt passed away and I'll miss the funeral, and the usual: money, body image, the norm.

For a while, I just whined and complained (to those that had to suffer through that, I apologize) and all that did was make the situation worse and my stress levels go higher.

So, I made a decision: I have to change the way I handle my life! 

 

Let's face it, even on a good day, life is stressful.

I know that there are others that have a heavier burden to bear than I do and I don’t have to bear this alone.  Nothing I’m dealing with is a surprise to God.  My Father knows my needs before I do and His hand is in everything.  Even when it feels like the walls are caving in.

I have been so tremendously blessed through everything I’m dealing with and by the people in my life.  I seriously have the best people, the best church, and the best Father.  Everything really is working together for my good.  In the midst of chaos, there is always beauty.  You just have to look for it and appreciate it.

 

As for myself, I choose to speak life over my circumstances, no matter how stressful and out of my control they might be.

So from now on, I’m doing my best to guard my words and just stop complaining.  For those that know me really well, I’m a realistic individual who just calls it like I see it, so this will in some cases, be a drastic change for me.  I pray that before I speak, I listen to the Holy Spirit.  Am I always going to nail it?  No, because I’m human, but with the Holy Spirit’s guidance and a little (or a lot) self control, I’ll get better at it.
Let me encourage you to think about this, take it to heart. 

How do you speak to your spouse?  You know, the person you’ve chosen as your forever? 

How do you speak to your children?  Even in heated moments and frustration?  Are you building them up and guiding them in the right direction, or are you putting them down? 

Are you speaking life or death over your circumstances?

 

Trust, it all comes down to trust.  Do you trust your Father to take care of you? 

It’s definitely something I need to work on…

John 16:33 (NLT)

³³ I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me.

Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows.

But take heart, because I have overcome the world.”

 

Be blessed!

Pamela

Ashes From A Charred Soul...

 

I am Brave.  I am Holy.  I am Royal.  I am Beautiful.

I am a daughter of the Most High God.

My circumstances do not change how my Father sees me, who I am, nor the plans He has for my life.

Isaiah 61:3 (NLT)

³ To all who mourn in Israel,
he will give a crown of beauty for ashes,
a joyous blessing instead of mourning,
festive praise instead of despair.
In their righteousness, they will be like great oaks
that the Lord has planted for his own glory.

 

I’m a pretty blunt and straight forward person, and mostly, that’s a positive thing in my life. You generally know where you stand with me because of this trait; however, some things need to be delivered with a hair more tact. A little more gently one might suggest. This is where I struggle.

However, now is the time to be straight forward so please, brace yourself.

What I’m going to talk about is not a gentle thing. It’s not a tactful thing. And, it’s not something that can be said in a soft, sweet, precious way. Sure, you can use ‘professional’ terminology and make it sting a little less and it can cover a multitude of sins, but when you get right down to it, it is what it is.

George Carlin made a statement once (paraphrased)-Psychologists came up with the term, “Post Traumatic Stress Disorder” when treating soldiers coming home from war. His suggestion was, (and I couldn’t agree with him more) that if we’d called it what it really was, “Shell Shock”, maybe our boys would’ve gotten the treatment they really needed.

I didn’t always agree with his point of view on various topics, but his views on words and how we use them, I did and still do. Sometimes, you just have to call things for what they are.

So that’s what I’m going to do.

Something else I’m going to do is be vague with the details. They’re not necessary. They’re between me and My Father. He was there and He knows exactly what happened.

So, here goes…

Several months ago, I was date raped.

I was raped by a person I was dating.

It took me a long time to be able to say that out loud. That word, rape. I used the phrase, ‘sexually assaulted’ for a long time. Then, I realized that in order to truly heal, I needed to call it what it was.

Rape.

Such an ugly word.

Such a painful word.

Such a world-changing word.

Rape.

Most people can’t even process what that word actually entails- it’s just too horrible to wrap your head around. Sexual Assault takes some of the sting out and like I said, covers a multitude of sins. Rape is pretty definitive and specific.

For some, I know this is shocking. I won’t lie, it still takes my breath away. Out of the handful of people that know, some have told me that they would’ve never known. Those who know me intimately saw the change right away.

New Year’s Eve of last year, I spent the evening with the Father, discussing the New Year and what that would bring. He made several promises to me last year (2011) for 2012. When this happened to me, I believed a lie. I believed that because something out of my control happened to me, that it forever changed God’s plan for me; that it changed the good things He has for me.

It didn’t. If anything, I am more grateful than ever for the promises that my Father has given me. There are times where I cling to what He’s promised me literally for the air to breathe.
I will forever stand up and proclaim that I KNOW beyond the shadow of a doubt that He has never left me. Never for one moment was I ever alone.

I know some of you are struggling with, “then why did He let this happen to you in the first place? Was this in His plan for you?”. I don’t have a great answer for that other than that since the dawn of time, free-will has existed and since Eve and Adam first sinned, there has been evil in the world. Unfortunately, it happens to good people.

I do know that no matter what has or will happen to me, His love for me is bigger. He will take every bad thing and turn it to my good. Why? Because that’s just how much HE loves Me.

My name is etched in the very palm of His hand and my name is continually on His lips. (Isaiah 49:16 & John 10:28) His thoughts toward me are as countless as the grains of sand. (Psalm 139:17-18)

I had moments, and continue to have moments where I am overwhelmed by the very thought of being raped. Sometimes, I still can’t wrap my brain around it. It’s still surreal sometimes. Others, it’s very, very real.

It’s taken a great deal of counseling, support, prayer, and healing to be where I am. I know where my help cometh, and it comes from the Lord. Every day, I am reminded of the brutal violation that took place in my life, so with the Holy Spirit’s guidance and persuasion, I had a tattoo of a promise placed on my arm. Every time I look at it, I’m reminded that no matter what happens in my life, my Father promises to bring beauty from my ashes. Especially when that’s all I have to offer Him. Just ashes from a charred soul. He heals it and makes it beautiful. Exquisitely beautiful.

I have learned far too much through this experience to share in this one post but now that it’s out in the open, I will speak more freely about it in posts to come.

I will share this though: Every woman who shares her story of survival with me, heals something inside me. I pray that it is the same for her.

I am so grateful for a Savior who loves the way mine does, who heals wounds that go so deep, they are beyond words, and casts out fear and leave peace and wholeness.

Please know that if you are a survivor, you are NOT alone. You’re welcome to share your story with me privately if you so desire. Like I mentioned, there’s healing in communication. 

For every victim out there, please know, there is healing...  There is a Father out there who desperately longs to heal your wounds and restore your heart. 

He longs to make beauty from your charred ashes.

Be blessed in Jesus’ name!