A Little Condemnation (Ahem, I Mean, Awareness) Never Hurt Anybody, Right??

We’ve all seen and heard of a great deal of posts on facebook regarding Christians and the movie Magic Mike, and reading fictional erotica like the Fifty Shades of Grey series.  This is a very controversial topic of conversation, especially in the Christian world.

**Let me clarify here that I will not say one way or another that seeing movies like this or reading books of this nature is right or wrong.** 

I will say that I do have mixed emotions and views on this topic.  I’ve read a few articles and seen these posts and one word comes to mind every time I’m broached with this topic… condemnation.  Even from the several that started out their posts with “I’m not condemning anyone, however…”  To me, that’s a big, red flag that tells me there could be condemnation afoot.

I’ll be transparent enough to say that I’ve seen Magic Mike and I’ve read fictional erotica (gasp!). 

I have a strong belief that one person’s convictions may not be another’s and that it is not my place to tell you what you should or shouldn’t feel convicted of.  The Holy Spirit is the authority on that and He’s much more knowledgeable of your heart than I.  I’m also of the profound belief that not everything you do is my business.  Sometimes we just take on more responsibility for others’ actions than is necessary.

I will admit this, I did not feel convicted about seeing Magic Mike or reading any fictional erotica.  This is not my conviction where it might be someone else’s. However, I’m also not encouraging that others run out and buy the series and go see the movie.  I’m just being transparent here because I know there are other believers out there that can relate to me.

I know that many Christians have posted that we are letting pornography (sin) and lust (sin) into our lives by allowing such books and movies to be viewed, however, let’s take into considerations 3 questions: 

When we offer our Godly advice and warnings to other believers, are we pushing our own convictions onto them and therefore causing them to feel condemned?  

Are we offering yet another opportunity for the world see judgment and legalism rather than love and grace? 

Can we not pray for our brothers and sisters to hear from the Holy Spirit for themselves?

I can guarantee that the Holy Spirit is much more capable of speaking to their hearts and minds than we can.  See, when we allow the Holy Spirit to do His job, He will speak to us in a loving and accepting way, which will only deepen intimacy with the Father.  He jumps at the opportunity to encourage that!

I remember when Harry Potter hit the scene and there was a huge controversy in our church (as well as many others) as to whether or not it was promoting witchcraft (also sin) to our children.  The Word says that not one sin is greater than another.  I just don’t see how this is any different. 

I know in my own walk there have been times that I’ve pushed my convictions on others with such gusto that it produced condemnation when my intentions were really good.  I just wanted to keep others from falling into the same pitfalls and suffering the same consequences that I had.  It was for their own good to learn from my mistakes where they could, right?  The truth is our priority should always be to point others to the Father first.  We should always advise others to seek the Holy Spirit and His wisdom above our own.  If they still want our opinion after doing that, then by all means, after seeking the Holy Spirit first ourselves, give your opinion.  Too often, I’ve found myself speaking first and then asking the Holy Spirit for His ‘permission’.  I guess I tend to be backwards in that way.  I bet no one else has ever done that…

We must always go back to God’s Word.  I believe that seeking the Holy Spirit sincerely and diligently goes hand in hand with God’s Word.  Let me encourage Christians to do this before we post, comment, or advise others on these particular comments.  Then again, shouldn’t we be doing this on all advisement?

Christians who are intimate with the Father should automatically seek the Holy Spirit sincerely before participating in such activities like the books they read or the movies they see.

This is my plea: Believers, please seek wisdom and discernment before posting your advisement to other believers to be sure that you are really not condemning them, but aiding them in seeking the Holy Spirit for themselves. 

Giving Godly counsel, not our own opinions, is imperative so let’s be sure that we are encouraging each other to seek the Father’s heart for us.  That is what will make all the difference in our behaviors and actions.

Here's my scriptures...

Romans 5:16-17 (NLT)
And the result of God’s gracious gift is very different from the result of that one man’s sin. For Adam’s sin led to condemnation, but God’s free gift leads to our being made right with God, even though we are guilty of many sins.

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Romans+5:16&version=NLT

Romans 8:1 (NLT)
So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus.

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Romans+8:1&version=NLT

Proverbs 18:21 (NLT)

²¹ The tongue can bring death or life;
those who love to talk will reap the consequences.

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Proverbs+18:21&version=NLT

Matthew 5:28 (NLT)

²⁸ But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1%20cor%206:18;1%20thess%204:3-5;matt%205:28&version=NLT;NKJV

1 Thessalonians 4:3-5 (NLT)

³ God’s will is for you to be holy, so stay away from all sexual sin. ⁴ Then each of you will control his own body^[a] and live in holiness and honor— ⁵ not in lustful passion like the pagans who do not know God and his ways.

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1%20cor%206:18;1%20thess%204:3-5;matt%205:28&version=NLT;NKJV

1 Corinthians 6:18 (NLT)

¹⁸ Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body.

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1%20cor%206:18;1%20thess%204:3-5;matt%205:28&version=NLT;NKJV

Wholeness Through Pain...

John 16:33  (NLT)

³³ I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.”

Ever have a revelation about someone so awful it actually feels like a physcial punch to your gut?  Ever had someone hurt your heart so badly and unexpectedly that you just can't wrap your head around it?
That's where I am right now.  In shock and awe at how much we can hurt the people we love so much. 
A person I never dreamed would hurt me has just hurt me to my core with her self-centeredness and inconsideration.  And I'm just flat blown away.

When you've been hurt so deeply that it changes your relationship with that person forever, what do you even do about it?  How do you move past it?

My life has been filled with one tragedy after another since the day I was born.  Even as a newborn, I witnessed things firsthand that should've damaged me for the rest of my life.  Throughout my world, I've experienced pain that almost only a Kennedy could relate to, but I've always been able to smile.
People ask me all the time how I'm able to experience these losses, painful experiences, and the deepest heart wounds and not have it cripple me.  The truth is, it's not me that's doing it.
People on the outside of my circle of trust (thank you Robert Di Niro) don't see the times where I'm not smiling, where it's hard enough to just get out of bed, let alone function, and the times where I just can't stand on my own.  Believe me when I say that I have those moments more than I care to admit.

So, how do I do it?  It always amazes me and saddens me a little when fellow believers ask me this question with sincerity.  The answer is plain, simple, and not something we talk enough about.
I go to my Father.
I go to my Father and I lay my head in His lap and weep, sob, scream, whatever I have to do to get it out.  I get alone with Him. 

By nature, I'm a worshipper- that's my love language with Him.  I love to worship.  Mostly though, I think it's affects are really where the high is... see, worship brings about the presence of God.  (Ps. 100:4)  Being fully emmersed in His presence is where true healing take place.

Sometimes, praise and worship is truly a sacrifice... When I'm hurting and wounded, giving thanks is the last thing that my flesh wants to do.  My flesh wants to come bursting through His gates throwing around blame, accusations and just flat tattling.  Certainly not giving thanks in my situation and "counting it all joy".  However, coming into His presence with praise and thanksgiving is the only way that I'm going to be made whole again.  Truth be told, it's not for Him that I come in with thanksgiving in my heart, no matter how battered, bruised, and sometimes crushed it is, it's for my benefit.  It forces me into a different perspective.  His perspective.  It points me to Him.  Our pain can actually be what restores us to the Father if we've walked away from Him. Sometimes it takes us being in pain to finally turn our face to Him.

In His presence, I'm made whole.  I'm healed.  The wounds of my heart are healed and my sorrow is turned into rejoicing.

That, is the only way that I'm able to get up and face my life.  The person that I am when I leave His presence is healthier than the person who first entered.

I know that as long as I'm walking this earth, I will be faced with trials and tragedies to overcome, but I also know that as long as I'm able to enter into His presence, I'll have the strength, stamina, and joy to endure.  My favorite little piece of knowledge?  He's overcome the world.  It's already done.  And my Father will always use my pain for my good, and hopefully someone else's too.  My prayer is always that His joy will flow through and out of me, even in the midst of adversity and pain. 

Let me encourage you in your time of pain and suffering to get into His presence as often as you can.  That is where you'll draw your strength, your wisdom, guidance, healing, and whatever else you might need.  You can't get what Abba gives you any other way.  Get into His word, He loves you so much and He delights in showing you His heart through His word too. 

He's the Great Physician, Counselor, Prince of Peace, Mighty Rock, He's I Am. 
He's everything you could ever need and more.

Even in the deepest pain, there can be wholeness.

Blessings!
~Pamela

Ever Been Ransomed? I Have...

Psalm 45:11 (NIV)
¹¹ Let the king be enthralled by your beauty;
   honor him, for he is your lord.

Very recently I had an event occur in my life in which I just felt ashamed.  It felt like I had taken a few steps forward and then a huge leap back. 

I was crushed.  My heart was so broken because I just knew that He had to be as disappointed in me as I was in myself.

Well, that was lie. 

It wasn't a huge leap back, it was a little stumble backwards, and I hadn't fallen so far that I was out of my Father's reach. 

Has that ever happened to you?  When you were trying to live a holy life and you just slipped and did something you knew in your heart wasn’t pleasing to Him?

Because of this experience, I have an even deeper, more real knowledge of His grace. 

He ransomed me that day, like so many other times.

I was born into a life of sin, one that I continued to live into adulthood.  A life of sex, drugs, alcohol, violence, rage, anger, depression, thoughts of suicide, inadequacy, hopelessness, and disappointment. 

I was captive in that life.  I couldn't get out of my own accord.  Nothing I did seemed to even lessen the pain that I was caught up in.  I certainly tried everything that the world offered, more drugs, sex, alcohol, and the list goes on.  I was raised in church, I knew all about Jesus and I knew His word, however, a bunch of head knowledge doesn't make me 'know' Him.  I knew of Him, but I didn't know this 'savior', and for many years, I didn't quite understand what I was actually being saved from.  I thought all Christians dealt with this life and that by just going to church, well, that'd get me into Heaven and it would all be a lot better there.  I knew that others struggled, but I thought that was just how it was supposed to be.  You pay your tithes, you spend your hours working for the Lord at church, and you said your ‘amen's’ at the appropriate time to support your pastor. 

I still didn't really know my Savior.  The One who ransomed me Himself.  I heard a preacher use the word ‘ransom’ to describe what Jesus had done for him.  It stuck with me even though I didn’t really understand the deepest meaning of what he was referring to at the time.

Sure, I knew that I'd been saved from going to hell and all, but what else could I have been saved from??  I needed to be saved from my life. 

Even as a Christian, I needed to be rescued from the life I had built for myself.  I loved the Lord and I served Him, but I still didn't know Him.  I constantly struggled in so many areas of my life with addiction and desperation and most of the time, I felt so alone.

But then, something incredible happened. Mercy reached in to save me...And it was so beautiful. 

Talk about an enlightenment…

I was finally able to grasp the concept of real grace. 

Believe me when I say that I’ve had my share of moments when it was impossible to look at myself in the mirror out of shame and guilt.   Thankfully, it’s not about what I see when I look in the mirror, it’s not about how I feel about myself, or even how I view myself as a person.  It’s about what HE sees when He looks at me.  When my Father looks at me, He sees Jesus, in whom He is well pleased.  He sees grace and mercy.  I can’t earn the love that He has for me by doing good works, living a certain way, acting a certain way, or even by saying the right things.  He freely gives it to me. 

This is a relationship, an intimate relationship; He knows the crevices of my heart, soul, and spirit and nothing is hid from Him.  And He loves me the same. 

I am fearfully and wonderfully made and He is enthralled by my beauty! (Ps. 45:11)

Now, I walk in a freedom that I’ve never really known before.  There’s grace and mercy as payment for my sins.  They pardon my guilt and shame.  Because of His grace, and His mercy, I’m able to live a life that is pleasing to Him.  It’s with His strength that I’m able to finally be happy and free from condemnation and legalism.

Why doesn’t the church talk about this??  Isn't this ransoming what salvation is really all about?!  All my life, I've been taught that salvation was living by a set of rules that were impossible for most to live.  Salvation was something that you had to earn and work hard to maintain.  For most, hell is a far off distance from where they are right this instant, the life they're leading right now (a religious life maybe?), is probably what they really need to be ransomed from.

My savior is only a cry away.  He hears me because He's right there with me, leading my every step.

It’s about relationship people, NOT religion.  Going to church every time the doors are open don’t make me a Christian any more than going to Alaska makes me a penguin (somebody has to get that!).

My prayer today is that whether you find yourself in a place where you need to be ransomed or not, that you have the realization that God is real, and He desires an intimate relationship with you.  He created you for Himself, but you must choose Him.

He wants to be your everything, because you are His whole world.

Blessings!

Pamela

Video found here.

I Sought My Father and Found Myself Critical...

Today I've all but found myself begging God to speak to me.  It's been a while since I stopped to listen and I'm desperately seeking Him.  His words.  His voice.
And then I realized something I always knew was on the surface.  Today I find myself being critical.
Ouch.
There's someone that I deal with on a constant basis that doesn't live her life the way I think that she should.  She doesn't take personal hygiene or consideration of others the way that I do.  But do I really consider others the way that I should??  I don't think that anyone would be offended of my personal hygiene, but other than that, do I always consider them? 
I'll be honest with myself here, I'm not being considerate of her. 
I've reached a point where her hygiene is such a problem for me (and many others) that it's dictating how I view her in all other ways.  For instance, her phone is too loud.  She has this obnoxious ring tone on her cell phone that goes off multiple times a day and it irritates the crap out of me.  It sits right next to her and she doesn't need it turned up so loudly.  In my opinion.  The way that she deals with people irritates me.  Mostly because customer service is not her calling, but with her odor and appearance, it's a horrible representation of our workplace.
But instead of praying that I could view her the way our Father does, I'm being critical.  Instead of praying that whatever heart wound is causing her to be this way, or whatever mental illness is causing this, to be healed, I'm being ultra critical of her shortcomings.
That makes me sick.
I asked God to speak to me and give me divine revelation about whatever He wanted to speak to me about today and this is what came to me.  I will admit that I'm ashamed.  I used to 'pride' myself on being able to look past people's appearances, but as it turns out, it was just pride and not my actual ability.
Thankfully, my Father loves me enough to gently humble me.  Thankfully, I'm learning this lesson (hopefully) to it's fullest extent with very little pain on my part.  I see grace that once again, has been abundantly given me, therefore, I must pour out onto others.  Specifically, this woman in my life.
Today, I will pray for her.  I will pray for her heart, her mind, and her spirit.  I pray that the Holy Spirit will begin to place a desire within her to seek the Truth.  To seek out her heavenly Father.  I will also pray that she finds Him and embraces and develops an intimate relationship with the Father. 
I pray that in her dark place, I am able to be a light to her.  That she will find the unconditional acceptance of the Father in me.
I will pray blessings upon her and not curses.  I pray that she has more joy and peace than she knows what to do with.
Once she's found that, everything else will work itself out.  Once those wounds are tended by the Great Healer, there's really nothing else that I need to do for her.
For those that have known me to be critical of her, please find my apologies, I have been a poor example of Him. 
I pray that others follow my lead and pray for those that they've found themselves to be critical of.
Even though this was a harsh realization, I appreciate it.  I'm not where I want to be, but I am right where I'm supposed to be.  Growing pains are just that, growing pains.  I'm moving forward and digging deeper into the relationship I have with my Father, and for that, I am forever grateful.


Many blessings to you!!


~Pamela

Happy New Year: A Time of Reflection...

As it comes time to ring in the new year, I've had many invites from friends to go out to bars, clubs, or their homes and help bring in the new year with a bottle of beer in one hand and champagne in the other.  Normally, I'd be all about that.  That's right up my alley- all of it, or at least it used to be. 
Not so much anymore.  With every invitation I began to realize that while those options were appealing, something was lacking.  I know that I'm at a place in my life where I want more.  I need more.  Fortunately for me, I have been blessed with incredible friends that understand and embrace that for me.
Yesterday I was talking with a good friend about his plans for New Year's and he mentioned that it was his time to reflect on the previous year's missed opportunities, things he could've done better, and things that he did well.  He also used that time to really nail down some goals for the coming year and just be with the Lord.  A quiet, intimate time of reflection. 
It was like something just clicked.  This completely satisfied a desire I didn't even realize I had for New Year's Eve.  Granted I couldn't go up into the mountains like he does and do this, but this is exactly what I had been craving.  Time alone to just focus on the things that needed to be focused on and just be with my Father is exactly what I need.
For the last several months, I've prayed and prayed that I would find my wholeness, my fulfillment, and my satisfaction in Christ alone.  That my devotion and my whole heart would be with my Father.  I believe that I'm finally beginning to see the fruits of that labor.  It excites me, this coming year.  Normally I hold the average amount of hope for the New Year, but this year, I have expectations. 
In October, on my birthday to be exact, God revealed some really awesome things to me: that this next year of my life will be one of blessing and prosperity in so many areas of my life, that all the things that the enemy stole from me will be returned to me 1,000 fold, and a greater intimacy with my Father than I've ever known before.
What's ironic about this is that I actually dreaded turning 30 this year for a long time before it happened.  I have a friend that's 6 months older than me tell me that it's all the building up that comes with it and then when you actually turn 30, it's pretty anticlimactic.  For me, that wasn't the case.  I actually felt myself change a little bit once I hit 30 and I feel like my new year actually began then. 
I've struggled so much since my divorce and I am so excited to see all the heart wounds that my Father has healed in me.  Things that I thought would never be repaired are finally healed and whole again. 
So, this New Year, I'm embracing it.  I cannot wait to see what God has for me.  I can't wait to hear what He wants to say to me.
I know that one of my goals will be to express to others in some way that God is not this far-off, untouchable being that's just waiting for you to mess up, but a Father, who desires an intimate relationship with His own.  And that we are by adoption, His own, and He desires US.


Happy New Year and I pray that whatever our Father has for you, that you seek it, that you run after it, and that you embrace the goodness that He has for you.


Blessings!!


~Pamela

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you

and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future."

Jeremiah 29:11

A Prisoner of Hope

Psalm139:14
"I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully
made; Marvelous are Your works,
And that my soul knows very well."

This is me.  My name is Pamela and most of you for the time being, actually know me.  And if you know me, you know there are many, sometimes quirky, facets to my personality.
I am fearfully and wonderfully made- the Word says so. 
I'm funny, I'm sassy, I love to talk, I'm a little hard-headed, and I don't take a lot of crap from people.  I've been known to share an opinion or two at times.  
I also have a big heart.  I can't help myself, I have a heart for people, even on days I don't want to, it's something that the Lord has given to me, probably because He has such a heart for people.  I am after all, made in His image
That's a reason why I've decided to write this blog, well that and because the Holy Spirit told me to.  He can be a pretty persuasive guy. 


It's called Beauty for Ashes because that's exactly what the Lord has done with my life.  I've experienced so much brokenness, betrayal, and pain in my life that at times its just been burned to a crisp.  There were times that were so dark in my life that I didn't think I'd ever see the light of another day again, much less something beautiful made out of my world.  But that's what my Father does.  That's how incredible He is.  He's able to take something that's worthless and turn it into something that's priceless.  Something so precious that He wants it for Himself.
He took a broken, hopeless being and turned her into an Precious Daughter of the Most High King.
That's who I am.


Because of my experiences, and the grace and undeniable mercy that has been shown me, I am a prisoner of hope.  In my distress, I've learned to praise Him, and through that, my hope is constantly renewed.  It is a hope that develops into a faith that sustains me when nothing else will.  My Father wants and has the absolute best things for me, and He's shown me that time and again... and His goodness never runs out.


I don't know what God's plans are for this blog, only that I'm supposed to write it.  My prayer is that you're blessed by it in whatever way you're needing at that particular moment.  I can't promise that you're always going to agree with what I write, but I can promise that I'll write what the Lord's laid on my heart. 


I also pray that you're able to find who you are in our Father.  There's more freedom than you've ever known in that knowledge.

Zechariah 9:12
"I am in God's stronghold of security and prosperity; I am a prisoner of hope; even today God declares that He will restore double my former prosperity!"

Blessings!
~Pamela