Today, I Am Thankful...

 

"I will offer to You the sacrifice of thanksgiving,

And will call upon the name of the Lord."

Psalm 116:17 (NKJV)

 

Today, as I sit going over my bills, I’m discouraged.  I work so hard and it just isn’t enough some days and for anyone that’s been there and done that, it can be really disheartening.

However, I realized that I have a choice here.  I can either be discouraged or I can be truly thankful for what I do have.  The word says to count our blessings so that’s exactly what today’s post is about.

I love this time of year and I hate the fact that the retail world has tried to completely bank on the Christmas holiday and overlook Thanksgiving altogether.  In my opinion, Thanksgiving should the most celebrated holiday of the year- yes, I love celebrating my savior’s birth, but think about it- I’m thankful for it.  I’m grateful for it. 

So, as therapy and a good reminder for myself, here’s my list…

·         I’m thankful that I have 2 jobs when there are some that have none.

·         I’m thankful that I can work more hours when I need to.

·         I’m thankful that while I might not be able to eat out as much as I want to, I still have plenty of food in my cabinets, even if it’s not what I really want to eat.  There are others that do not.

·         I’m thankful I have a bank account.

·         I’m thankful for direct deposit and bill collectors that are willing to work with you on due dates.

·         I’m thankful that I have clean clothes to wear and that some of them are too tight- means that I’ve had plenty to eat.

·         I’m thankful that I have my own little fan club of doxies that meets me at the door every time I walk in like they haven’t seen me in too long; even if I have just taken the trash out.

·         I’m thankful that Chest is anxious to be fed- it shows that he trusts me enough to know that I will take care of him.

·         I’m thankful that Daisy craves cuddle time with me on the couch and that she gets as close to me as she can. 

·         I’m thankful that their love for me is unconditional, even when I don’t have enough time to just be with them.

·         I’m thankful that I’m able to go to school, while one of my classes is a drag sometimes, I get to have dinner with a very special lady every week before that class and we can endure it together.

·         I’m thankful for student loans (ugh) without which, I wouldn’t be able to go to school.

·         I’m thankful for my grown up job- the benefits are amazing and I work with a good, albeit eclectic group of people.

·         I’m thankful for a boss that doesn’t breathe down my neck or belittle me on a daily basis; I know folks who work in hell every day and I’ve done it myself.  Not fun.

·         I’m thankful that I have heat and electricity and water in my house and that I can afford to keep them all turned on all the time.

·         I’m thankful that I don’t have any serious health issues.

·         I’m thankful that I have my family.

·         I’m thankful that I have two moms and while they can’t be together and it makes my life difficult sometimes, I’m grateful that I have two women that love me and want my time and attention.  So many don’t have their mothers anymore.

·         I’m thankful for the memories and good stories I have of my dad.

·         I’m thankful for friends that keep me on track and keep me encouraged.  I’m thankful that they’re more than understanding about school and work and my psychotic schedule and that they don’t forget about me when I don’t have time for them.

·         I’m thankful for spiritual influences that continually point me to the Father, even when I just want a simple answer to my questions.

·         I’m thankful shoes.  They make my heart happy.

·         I’m thankful for my Father.  I’m extremely grateful that I know who I am and just how important to my Father I am. 

·         I’m grateful that my name is written on the palm of His hand.

·         I’m grateful for salvation, grace, and mercy that never ends.

·         I’m grateful for freedom from religion and legalism.

·         I’m thankful for freedom of speech and the ability to express myself.

·         I’m grateful that there is no condemnation in them who serve the Lord.

·         I’m grateful to live in a free country where I still have the right to vote.

·         I’m thankful to have the knowledge that even if the leadership of my country is not doing what I think they should, my God is still bigger than anything that may come against me.

·         I’m thankful for the ability to ‘do’ my life.  It takes a great deal of stamina and patience to do what I do on a weekly basis.

·         I’m also thankful that by the end of the year, it won’t be so hectic.

·         I’m thankful for coffee.

·         I’m thankful for friends that keep me laughing every time I talk to them.

·         I’m thankful for random texts from people that I love.

·         I’m thankful for birthdays and the fact that I’m still 29. J

·         I’m thankful for wine and yes, a nice ice cold beer.

·         I’m totally thankful for pie and cookies.  And chocolate.  And fat.  So thankful for fatty foods.  Like Pizza.

·         Really thankful for pizza.

·         I’m thankful that I have so many people in my life that need and want my attention.  I know there are many who are lonely.

·         I’m thankful for music!

·         I’m thankful for movies that move your soul.

·         I’m thankful for puppies.

·         I’m thankful that my list is so long and continues to grow.

·         I’m thankful that I know that no matter how bad things look today- there’s always tomorrow.

·         I’m thankful for the healing of old wounds.

·         I’m thankful for a sense of humor that allows me to laugh at past mistakes.

·         I’m thankful for being able to trust.

·         I’m thankful that I was able to get the one thing I wanted on Black Friday and I didn’t even have to bite anyone to get it.

·         I’m thankful that at the end of the day I’m exhausted, because I know I’ve done something productive that day to warrant that exhaustion.

·         I’m thankful that on Thanksgiving I was so full I was miserable; it means that I had too much to eat.  Many did not.

·         I’m thankful for stretchy pants.

 

"This is the day the Lord has made;

We will rejoice and be glad in it."

Psalm 118:24 (NKJV)

 

Trust You? Seriously??

Proverbs 3:5 (NLT)

⁵ Trust in the Lord with all your heart;
do not depend on your own understanding.

So explain something to me, Father.  Why would I trust you with something so delicate and close to my heart as this burden that I carry regarding financial struggle, when clearly You’ve always, always taken care of me?  Why would I trust you when You’ve never, not one time failed me?  Why would I listen to your still small voice telling me to trust You when I have my own wisdom and understanding to lean on?

Oh, that’s right… cause I don’t know jack. 

You, however, are full of infinite wisdom and understanding and you have knowledge of things I’ve yet to dream of.

See, I’m struggling today with trust.  And when I don’t trust my Father to take care of me when He promises that He’ll never forsake me, I rob myself.

I have to go to court to take care of something that is very personal to me.  No need to get into details here, but it’s a painful ordeal for me.  It’s unjust and unfair, and the odds are not in my favor as the world may see it.  That’s the attitude that I had this morning as I was gathering supporting evidence (which isn’t much) for my side of the case.  It was nothing less than discouraging and forced me to pour over angry and bitter emails duking it out between the two of us over who was right and who was not.  At lunchtime, I’d had enough and I went to my Father and poured my angry soul out to Him.  Then I had to shut up and listen.  This is what the Holy Spirit said to me…

Every time you don’t trust Me, your Father, you take away an opportunity for me to pleasantly surprise you.  By you not trusting Me, you show Me an attitude of ungratefulness for the times that you have trusted Me.  You believe that I am a liar when I say that I will take care of you.  When you don’t trust Me, you rob yourself of the precious gifts that I have only for you.  When you don’t trust Me, you show me that you believe that you know better than I do, that your judgment is more sound than My own.  You know more than I, the Creator, and Master of the Universe about the things that affect your past, present, and future.  I tell you My precious one, to NOT lean on your own understanding, that your thoughts are not my thoughts, and that My love and provisions for you are limitless.  See, while you only know what is happening right in front of your face right this very moment, I know the things that you do not. Nothing is hidden from Me.  What you fail to see is I have already gone before you and prepared a way for you.

One thing I know for sure is that He is right and I am not.  I don’t need to understand.  I don’t need to know what’s going to happen when this is all over with.  All I need to know is that I can trust my Father. 

Satan is the author of confusion, distress, and chaos.  He’s certainly been working on this for a while and creating havoc anywhere this is concerned.

I know that my Father has gone before me, I know that no matter what my outcome may be, He’s already taken care of it.  He’s already made provision where it is needed; He’s already given me favor where it is needed; and He’s already ministered in ways that I know nothing of.

I trust Him.  His infinite knowledge and wisdom and not to mention power, is far greater than my own. 

My prayer is simply this:  That He would change my heart to be a reflection of His.  Even when I have to face my enemies (and He says that I will), that He would give me the ability to love them the way that He does, even when they don’t deserve it.  I certainly didn’t.  We ALL fall short, but His love is wide enough, deep enough, and eager enough to cover it all.  We are His beloved, even when we don’t act like it.

I know that for some of you may feel like what the Holy Spirit said was a little harsh, but I believe it to be nothing more than the truth- and I felt so loved and cared for while He spoke to me.  Why?  Because He’s the best parent, and that’s what great parents do for their children.  They guide them, and sometimes, they point out the ugly in our attitudes, but they love us in spite of ourselves. 

Let me encourage you, if you’re struggling with trust- and I do on a constant basis, ask the Father to reveal His truth to you.

If you can’t trust Him to handle your life, then why follow Him at all?

A Little Condemnation (Ahem, I Mean, Awareness) Never Hurt Anybody, Right??

We’ve all seen and heard of a great deal of posts on facebook regarding Christians and the movie Magic Mike, and reading fictional erotica like the Fifty Shades of Grey series.  This is a very controversial topic of conversation, especially in the Christian world.

**Let me clarify here that I will not say one way or another that seeing movies like this or reading books of this nature is right or wrong.** 

I will say that I do have mixed emotions and views on this topic.  I’ve read a few articles and seen these posts and one word comes to mind every time I’m broached with this topic… condemnation.  Even from the several that started out their posts with “I’m not condemning anyone, however…”  To me, that’s a big, red flag that tells me there could be condemnation afoot.

I’ll be transparent enough to say that I’ve seen Magic Mike and I’ve read fictional erotica (gasp!). 

I have a strong belief that one person’s convictions may not be another’s and that it is not my place to tell you what you should or shouldn’t feel convicted of.  The Holy Spirit is the authority on that and He’s much more knowledgeable of your heart than I.  I’m also of the profound belief that not everything you do is my business.  Sometimes we just take on more responsibility for others’ actions than is necessary.

I will admit this, I did not feel convicted about seeing Magic Mike or reading any fictional erotica.  This is not my conviction where it might be someone else’s. However, I’m also not encouraging that others run out and buy the series and go see the movie.  I’m just being transparent here because I know there are other believers out there that can relate to me.

I know that many Christians have posted that we are letting pornography (sin) and lust (sin) into our lives by allowing such books and movies to be viewed, however, let’s take into considerations 3 questions: 

When we offer our Godly advice and warnings to other believers, are we pushing our own convictions onto them and therefore causing them to feel condemned?  

Are we offering yet another opportunity for the world see judgment and legalism rather than love and grace? 

Can we not pray for our brothers and sisters to hear from the Holy Spirit for themselves?

I can guarantee that the Holy Spirit is much more capable of speaking to their hearts and minds than we can.  See, when we allow the Holy Spirit to do His job, He will speak to us in a loving and accepting way, which will only deepen intimacy with the Father.  He jumps at the opportunity to encourage that!

I remember when Harry Potter hit the scene and there was a huge controversy in our church (as well as many others) as to whether or not it was promoting witchcraft (also sin) to our children.  The Word says that not one sin is greater than another.  I just don’t see how this is any different. 

I know in my own walk there have been times that I’ve pushed my convictions on others with such gusto that it produced condemnation when my intentions were really good.  I just wanted to keep others from falling into the same pitfalls and suffering the same consequences that I had.  It was for their own good to learn from my mistakes where they could, right?  The truth is our priority should always be to point others to the Father first.  We should always advise others to seek the Holy Spirit and His wisdom above our own.  If they still want our opinion after doing that, then by all means, after seeking the Holy Spirit first ourselves, give your opinion.  Too often, I’ve found myself speaking first and then asking the Holy Spirit for His ‘permission’.  I guess I tend to be backwards in that way.  I bet no one else has ever done that…

We must always go back to God’s Word.  I believe that seeking the Holy Spirit sincerely and diligently goes hand in hand with God’s Word.  Let me encourage Christians to do this before we post, comment, or advise others on these particular comments.  Then again, shouldn’t we be doing this on all advisement?

Christians who are intimate with the Father should automatically seek the Holy Spirit sincerely before participating in such activities like the books they read or the movies they see.

This is my plea: Believers, please seek wisdom and discernment before posting your advisement to other believers to be sure that you are really not condemning them, but aiding them in seeking the Holy Spirit for themselves. 

Giving Godly counsel, not our own opinions, is imperative so let’s be sure that we are encouraging each other to seek the Father’s heart for us.  That is what will make all the difference in our behaviors and actions.

Here's my scriptures...

Romans 5:16-17 (NLT)
And the result of God’s gracious gift is very different from the result of that one man’s sin. For Adam’s sin led to condemnation, but God’s free gift leads to our being made right with God, even though we are guilty of many sins.

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Romans+5:16&version=NLT

Romans 8:1 (NLT)
So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus.

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Romans+8:1&version=NLT

Proverbs 18:21 (NLT)

²¹ The tongue can bring death or life;
those who love to talk will reap the consequences.

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Proverbs+18:21&version=NLT

Matthew 5:28 (NLT)

²⁸ But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1%20cor%206:18;1%20thess%204:3-5;matt%205:28&version=NLT;NKJV

1 Thessalonians 4:3-5 (NLT)

³ God’s will is for you to be holy, so stay away from all sexual sin. ⁴ Then each of you will control his own body^[a] and live in holiness and honor— ⁵ not in lustful passion like the pagans who do not know God and his ways.

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1%20cor%206:18;1%20thess%204:3-5;matt%205:28&version=NLT;NKJV

1 Corinthians 6:18 (NLT)

¹⁸ Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body.

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1%20cor%206:18;1%20thess%204:3-5;matt%205:28&version=NLT;NKJV

Wholeness Through Pain...

John 16:33  (NLT)

³³ I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.”

Ever have a revelation about someone so awful it actually feels like a physcial punch to your gut?  Ever had someone hurt your heart so badly and unexpectedly that you just can't wrap your head around it?
That's where I am right now.  In shock and awe at how much we can hurt the people we love so much. 
A person I never dreamed would hurt me has just hurt me to my core with her self-centeredness and inconsideration.  And I'm just flat blown away.

When you've been hurt so deeply that it changes your relationship with that person forever, what do you even do about it?  How do you move past it?

My life has been filled with one tragedy after another since the day I was born.  Even as a newborn, I witnessed things firsthand that should've damaged me for the rest of my life.  Throughout my world, I've experienced pain that almost only a Kennedy could relate to, but I've always been able to smile.
People ask me all the time how I'm able to experience these losses, painful experiences, and the deepest heart wounds and not have it cripple me.  The truth is, it's not me that's doing it.
People on the outside of my circle of trust (thank you Robert Di Niro) don't see the times where I'm not smiling, where it's hard enough to just get out of bed, let alone function, and the times where I just can't stand on my own.  Believe me when I say that I have those moments more than I care to admit.

So, how do I do it?  It always amazes me and saddens me a little when fellow believers ask me this question with sincerity.  The answer is plain, simple, and not something we talk enough about.
I go to my Father.
I go to my Father and I lay my head in His lap and weep, sob, scream, whatever I have to do to get it out.  I get alone with Him. 

By nature, I'm a worshipper- that's my love language with Him.  I love to worship.  Mostly though, I think it's affects are really where the high is... see, worship brings about the presence of God.  (Ps. 100:4)  Being fully emmersed in His presence is where true healing take place.

Sometimes, praise and worship is truly a sacrifice... When I'm hurting and wounded, giving thanks is the last thing that my flesh wants to do.  My flesh wants to come bursting through His gates throwing around blame, accusations and just flat tattling.  Certainly not giving thanks in my situation and "counting it all joy".  However, coming into His presence with praise and thanksgiving is the only way that I'm going to be made whole again.  Truth be told, it's not for Him that I come in with thanksgiving in my heart, no matter how battered, bruised, and sometimes crushed it is, it's for my benefit.  It forces me into a different perspective.  His perspective.  It points me to Him.  Our pain can actually be what restores us to the Father if we've walked away from Him. Sometimes it takes us being in pain to finally turn our face to Him.

In His presence, I'm made whole.  I'm healed.  The wounds of my heart are healed and my sorrow is turned into rejoicing.

That, is the only way that I'm able to get up and face my life.  The person that I am when I leave His presence is healthier than the person who first entered.

I know that as long as I'm walking this earth, I will be faced with trials and tragedies to overcome, but I also know that as long as I'm able to enter into His presence, I'll have the strength, stamina, and joy to endure.  My favorite little piece of knowledge?  He's overcome the world.  It's already done.  And my Father will always use my pain for my good, and hopefully someone else's too.  My prayer is always that His joy will flow through and out of me, even in the midst of adversity and pain. 

Let me encourage you in your time of pain and suffering to get into His presence as often as you can.  That is where you'll draw your strength, your wisdom, guidance, healing, and whatever else you might need.  You can't get what Abba gives you any other way.  Get into His word, He loves you so much and He delights in showing you His heart through His word too. 

He's the Great Physician, Counselor, Prince of Peace, Mighty Rock, He's I Am. 
He's everything you could ever need and more.

Even in the deepest pain, there can be wholeness.

Blessings!
~Pamela

Ever Been Ransomed? I Have...

Psalm 45:11 (NIV)
¹¹ Let the king be enthralled by your beauty;
   honor him, for he is your lord.

Very recently I had an event occur in my life in which I just felt ashamed.  It felt like I had taken a few steps forward and then a huge leap back. 

I was crushed.  My heart was so broken because I just knew that He had to be as disappointed in me as I was in myself.

Well, that was lie. 

It wasn't a huge leap back, it was a little stumble backwards, and I hadn't fallen so far that I was out of my Father's reach. 

Has that ever happened to you?  When you were trying to live a holy life and you just slipped and did something you knew in your heart wasn’t pleasing to Him?

Because of this experience, I have an even deeper, more real knowledge of His grace. 

He ransomed me that day, like so many other times.

I was born into a life of sin, one that I continued to live into adulthood.  A life of sex, drugs, alcohol, violence, rage, anger, depression, thoughts of suicide, inadequacy, hopelessness, and disappointment. 

I was captive in that life.  I couldn't get out of my own accord.  Nothing I did seemed to even lessen the pain that I was caught up in.  I certainly tried everything that the world offered, more drugs, sex, alcohol, and the list goes on.  I was raised in church, I knew all about Jesus and I knew His word, however, a bunch of head knowledge doesn't make me 'know' Him.  I knew of Him, but I didn't know this 'savior', and for many years, I didn't quite understand what I was actually being saved from.  I thought all Christians dealt with this life and that by just going to church, well, that'd get me into Heaven and it would all be a lot better there.  I knew that others struggled, but I thought that was just how it was supposed to be.  You pay your tithes, you spend your hours working for the Lord at church, and you said your ‘amen's’ at the appropriate time to support your pastor. 

I still didn't really know my Savior.  The One who ransomed me Himself.  I heard a preacher use the word ‘ransom’ to describe what Jesus had done for him.  It stuck with me even though I didn’t really understand the deepest meaning of what he was referring to at the time.

Sure, I knew that I'd been saved from going to hell and all, but what else could I have been saved from??  I needed to be saved from my life. 

Even as a Christian, I needed to be rescued from the life I had built for myself.  I loved the Lord and I served Him, but I still didn't know Him.  I constantly struggled in so many areas of my life with addiction and desperation and most of the time, I felt so alone.

But then, something incredible happened. Mercy reached in to save me...And it was so beautiful. 

Talk about an enlightenment…

I was finally able to grasp the concept of real grace. 

Believe me when I say that I’ve had my share of moments when it was impossible to look at myself in the mirror out of shame and guilt.   Thankfully, it’s not about what I see when I look in the mirror, it’s not about how I feel about myself, or even how I view myself as a person.  It’s about what HE sees when He looks at me.  When my Father looks at me, He sees Jesus, in whom He is well pleased.  He sees grace and mercy.  I can’t earn the love that He has for me by doing good works, living a certain way, acting a certain way, or even by saying the right things.  He freely gives it to me. 

This is a relationship, an intimate relationship; He knows the crevices of my heart, soul, and spirit and nothing is hid from Him.  And He loves me the same. 

I am fearfully and wonderfully made and He is enthralled by my beauty! (Ps. 45:11)

Now, I walk in a freedom that I’ve never really known before.  There’s grace and mercy as payment for my sins.  They pardon my guilt and shame.  Because of His grace, and His mercy, I’m able to live a life that is pleasing to Him.  It’s with His strength that I’m able to finally be happy and free from condemnation and legalism.

Why doesn’t the church talk about this??  Isn't this ransoming what salvation is really all about?!  All my life, I've been taught that salvation was living by a set of rules that were impossible for most to live.  Salvation was something that you had to earn and work hard to maintain.  For most, hell is a far off distance from where they are right this instant, the life they're leading right now (a religious life maybe?), is probably what they really need to be ransomed from.

My savior is only a cry away.  He hears me because He's right there with me, leading my every step.

It’s about relationship people, NOT religion.  Going to church every time the doors are open don’t make me a Christian any more than going to Alaska makes me a penguin (somebody has to get that!).

My prayer today is that whether you find yourself in a place where you need to be ransomed or not, that you have the realization that God is real, and He desires an intimate relationship with you.  He created you for Himself, but you must choose Him.

He wants to be your everything, because you are His whole world.

Blessings!

Pamela

Video found here.

I Sought My Father and Found Myself Critical...

Today I've all but found myself begging God to speak to me.  It's been a while since I stopped to listen and I'm desperately seeking Him.  His words.  His voice.
And then I realized something I always knew was on the surface.  Today I find myself being critical.
Ouch.
There's someone that I deal with on a constant basis that doesn't live her life the way I think that she should.  She doesn't take personal hygiene or consideration of others the way that I do.  But do I really consider others the way that I should??  I don't think that anyone would be offended of my personal hygiene, but other than that, do I always consider them? 
I'll be honest with myself here, I'm not being considerate of her. 
I've reached a point where her hygiene is such a problem for me (and many others) that it's dictating how I view her in all other ways.  For instance, her phone is too loud.  She has this obnoxious ring tone on her cell phone that goes off multiple times a day and it irritates the crap out of me.  It sits right next to her and she doesn't need it turned up so loudly.  In my opinion.  The way that she deals with people irritates me.  Mostly because customer service is not her calling, but with her odor and appearance, it's a horrible representation of our workplace.
But instead of praying that I could view her the way our Father does, I'm being critical.  Instead of praying that whatever heart wound is causing her to be this way, or whatever mental illness is causing this, to be healed, I'm being ultra critical of her shortcomings.
That makes me sick.
I asked God to speak to me and give me divine revelation about whatever He wanted to speak to me about today and this is what came to me.  I will admit that I'm ashamed.  I used to 'pride' myself on being able to look past people's appearances, but as it turns out, it was just pride and not my actual ability.
Thankfully, my Father loves me enough to gently humble me.  Thankfully, I'm learning this lesson (hopefully) to it's fullest extent with very little pain on my part.  I see grace that once again, has been abundantly given me, therefore, I must pour out onto others.  Specifically, this woman in my life.
Today, I will pray for her.  I will pray for her heart, her mind, and her spirit.  I pray that the Holy Spirit will begin to place a desire within her to seek the Truth.  To seek out her heavenly Father.  I will also pray that she finds Him and embraces and develops an intimate relationship with the Father. 
I pray that in her dark place, I am able to be a light to her.  That she will find the unconditional acceptance of the Father in me.
I will pray blessings upon her and not curses.  I pray that she has more joy and peace than she knows what to do with.
Once she's found that, everything else will work itself out.  Once those wounds are tended by the Great Healer, there's really nothing else that I need to do for her.
For those that have known me to be critical of her, please find my apologies, I have been a poor example of Him. 
I pray that others follow my lead and pray for those that they've found themselves to be critical of.
Even though this was a harsh realization, I appreciate it.  I'm not where I want to be, but I am right where I'm supposed to be.  Growing pains are just that, growing pains.  I'm moving forward and digging deeper into the relationship I have with my Father, and for that, I am forever grateful.


Many blessings to you!!


~Pamela