2015, Bring It!

“For everything there is a season,
a time for every activity under heaven.
A time to be born and a time to die.
A time to plant and a time to harvest.
A time to kill and a time to heal.
A time to tear down and a time to build up.

A time to cry and a time to laugh.
A time to grieve and a time to dance.
A time to scatter stones and a time to gather stones.
A time to embrace and a time to turn away.
A time to search and a time to quit searching.
A time to keep and a time to throw away.
A time to tear and a time to mend.
A time to be quiet and a time to speak.
A time to love and a time to hate.
A time for war and a time for peace.”

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

2014 has been a whirlwind year for me.  It’s been a year of big faith and great opportunities for God to show off.  For those who know me, saying I don’t like change is putting it mildly.  Even good change is a struggle for me.  In my experience, change usually meant turning my life upside down and while it’s inevitable and even healthy for change to take place, it’s taxing for me.

This last year has been big, probably one of the biggest in my life- with huge lifestyle changes that will affect me for the rest of my life.

The thought of shaving my head was terrifying.  Fortunately, I've got amazing people that celebrated with me and made it fun.

Ouch- not the most fun I've ever had!

What Brain Surgery?
4 Weeks Post-Op

I had brain surgery!!!!  I was completely healed from the constant migraines and pain I’d experience almost all of my life.  While the beginning of the year was pure hell, it challenged me both physically and spiritually, I can say that it increased my faith, stretched me and forced me to grow in ways I could’ve never imagined.  I went places mentally and spiritually that I couldn’t even fathom and I watched first-hand God reach into my life and pull me from the darkness.  I experience healing in my body that doctors never thought was possible and I watched my family come together in a way that I honestly believed would never happen.

I also experienced great loss.  All of my adult life, I’ve wanted children of my own.  Many know of the infertility struggles that John and I faced when we were married and know the pain that entails.  I’ve had endometriosis since I was 14 years old and have suffered with many surgeries to maintain it long enough to attempt pregnancy.  In September during a routine surgery to get ‘cleaned out’ my doctor of 10 years realized we had reached the end and informed me that I would need a complete and total abdominal hysterectomy.  Years of surgeries (both related to the disease and not) had riddled my body with scar tissue and the disease itself had destroyed a lot of healthy tissue.

We did a lot of lounging around this year...

So, on Veteran’s Day I had my complete hysterectomy.  For someone at the ripe old age of 33, that was a struggle.  Knowing that I would never bear children broke my heart and hurt my soul.

Much to my surprise though, there was a sense of relief that came when it was all over with.  I have no control anymore, no more pressure to hurry up and get married so I can produce a human, none of that anymore.  I’ve always been open to adoption and now, that is my option.  It’s a really good one and I trust that when the time is right, God will just take care of it.  Like He always does.

I am so blessed that I have two beautiful step-daughters that I claim as my own and that God is restoring those relationships as well.

It was said at church at the beginning of 2014 that this would be a year of double rest.  It certainly has been for me, I’ve had two major operations that required lengthy recovery times and I’ve been forced into seasons of rest twice.  I’ve had it prophesied over me that this next year will be a year of ministry and fulfillment of great promise.  To say the least, I’m READY for some good stuff! 

Don’t get me wrong, it’s been full of really great stuff too.  I’ve learned who my friends are, and I always had people that helped me laugh when I so desperately needed.

I realized how much value there is in having people that will stop and intercede, not just pray, but really storm the gates of heaven on my behalf when I can’t pray for myself.

I’ve learned through the many meals brought to me over the year how many of my friends are master chefs and how many should bring good take-out.

I’ve seen so much grace and mercy and unending patience as my friends and coworkers deal with my issues of memory and word loss.  It’s humbling to lose your words and short term memories and instead of humiliating me, they encouraged me and praised my progress.

God has brought remarkable people into my life, I’ve watched God work through doctors and I’ve had surgeons pray over me.

I’ve had the chance to minister and watch God work through me and my scars to bring freedom to so many people that I wouldn’t have had the courage to minister to before.

Daisy and Chester loved having Mommy home so much!

It’s been a long, difficult year, but one of so much growth, some of it extremely painful, but definitely necessary.  I can honestly say that no matter where I’m struggling, no matter how much my heart is hurting and my head doesn’t understand, my Father is always eager to meet me right where I’m at.  I’ve been on my face before God pouring my heart out and I’ve stomped around my house shouting angrily at Him more than I have ever done in my life.  I’ve also experienced powerful moments of grace at times that I know I wouldn’t have survived without it.

He’s a great big God and He can handle my heart at its most raw and uncensored.  No matter what I throw at Him, He can take it and more importantly, He still delights in me.

The fact of the matter is that I know God’s heart for me and that revelation has carried me through the most difficult of time in my life.  I have been as raw and transparent before the Lord as I can be and I’ve felt His presence in my life in ways that blow my mind.  I’ve gone deeper into intimacy with Him than I ever thought possible.  I am more in love with the God of the universe than ever before.

Even still, change is difficult for me.

I do know this - with all of the challenges this past year, it has increased my capacity for God and it has stirred a fire inside of me that I never want to be satisfied- I never want to reach a place of complacency with God.

I want everything that God has for me and I won’t settle for less than His best for me.

Several years ago when I made the decision to walk with God again, I asked God to reveal Himself to me.  I had grown up listening to who others thought God was and who I thought He should be and that His thoughts towards me were only good if I behaved a certain way.  When I came back to the Lord, I wanted to know the truth.  I wanted to know God’s heart for me- whatever that might’ve looked like.  I desperately wanted a real relationship with God, not religion and that’s exactly what I got.

At that time, I chose not to read His word, I wanted it straight from the Holy Spirit, I wanted to hear God for Himself, and man, am I ever glad I did!  Over the years, the things that God has showed me and the way He has transformed my heart would blow your mind.

Let me encourage you, as you go into this New Year, declare blessing over yourself, over your family, and increase your capacity for God.  Ask Him to take you deeper into His presence than you ‘ve ever been.  Ask God for a new experience with Him.  Ask to know Him in a new way.

He wants to show you His heart for you and I know for sure, that it is good.

Don’t make resolutions for God this year, just love Him and let Him love you- to the fullest.

I can guarantee it will change your life, and maybe, just maybe, your heart too.

“For I am about to do something new.
    See, I have already begun! Do you not see it?”

Isaiah 43:19

Be blessed, y’all!

~Pamela

Visit our website at: www.ACreativeWord.com

I can be reached at: Pamela@ACreativeWord.com

I Need To Be Rescued...Like, Yesterday.

There are just some days where I need to be rescued.
Today is one of those days.

I'm leaning so heavily on one of my favorite chapters in the whole Bible today.  Psalm 18.  It’s my favorite depiction of how God rescues us.  

Sometimes we like to keep God in this snuggly Father figure box (which He most definitely is) where He just scoops us up and loves on us and kisses our boo boos; but sometimes it's important to have Him really reveal Himself to us as the powerful Almighty God of the Universe.

I love the way that David describes Him in this chapter because He is my rescuer and today, this is how I need to see Him.

The Almighty God of the Universe. 

I Am.

My Redeemer.

My Healer.

My King.

My God.

I need Him come down on His angelic beast and fight for me. 

All because He has heard my cry and He delights in me.

Not because of who I am, but just because of who He is and because of how much He loves me.

Yeah, I need Him to be that God today.

Psalm 18

For the choir director: A psalm of David, the servant of the Lord. He sang this song to the Lord on the day the Lord rescued him from all his enemies and from Saul. He sang:

I love you, Lord; you are my strength.

The Lord is my rock, my fortress, and my savior; my God is my rock, in whom I find protection.

He is my shield, the power that saves me, and my place of safety.

I called on the Lord, who is worthy of praise, and he saved me from
my enemies.

The ropes of death entangled me; floods of destruction swept over me.

The grave wrapped its ropes around me; death laid a trap in my path.

But in my distress I cried out to the Lord; yes, I prayed to my God for help.

He heard me from his sanctuary; my cry to him reached his ears.

Then the earth quaked and trembled.  The foundations of the mountains shook; they quaked because of his anger.

Smoke poured from his nostrils; fierce flames leaped from his mouth.  Glowing coals blazed forth from him.

He opened the heavens and came down; dark storm clouds were
beneath his feet.

Mounted on a mighty angelic being, he flew, soaring on the
wings of the wind.

He shrouded himself in darkness, veiling his approach
with dark rain clouds.

Thick clouds shielded the brightness around him and
rained down hail and burning coals.

The Lord thundered from heaven; the voice of the Most High
resounded amid the hail and burning coals.

He shot his arrows and scattered his enemies;  his lightning
flashed, and they were greatly confused.

Then at your command, O Lord, at the blast of your breath, the bottom of the sea could be seen, and the foundations
of the earth were laid bare.  

He reached down from heaven and rescued me; he drew me out of deep waters.

He rescued me from my powerful enemies, from those who
hated me and were too strong for me.

They attacked me at a moment when I was in distress, but the Lord supported me.

He led me to a place of safety; he rescued me because he delights in me.

The Lord rewarded me for doing right; he restored me
because of my innocence.

For I have kept the ways of the Lord; I have not turned
from my God to follow evil.

I have followed all his regulations; I have never abandoned
his decrees.

I am blameless before God; I have kept myself
from sin.

The Lord rewarded me for doing right.
He has seen my innocence.

To the faithful you show yourself faithful; to those with
integrity you show integrity.

To the pure you show yourself pure, but to the wicked you
show yourself hostile.

You rescue the humble, but you humiliate the proud.

You light a lamp for me. The Lord, my God,
lights up my darkness.

In your strength I can crush an army; with my God I can scale any wall.

God’s way is perfect. All the Lord’s promises prove true.  He is a shield for all who look to him for protection.

For who is God except the Lord?  Who but our God is a solid rock?

God arms me with strength, and he makes my way perfect.

He makes me as surefooted as a deer, enabling me to
stand on mountain heights.

He trains my hands for battle; he strengthens my arm to
draw a bronze bow.

You have given me your shield of victory.
Your right hand supports me; your help has
made me great.

You have made a wide path for my feet to keep
them from slipping. 

I chased my enemies and caught them; I did not stop
until they were conquered.

I struck them down so they could not get up; they
fell beneath my feet.

You have armed me with strength for the battle;
you have subdued my enemies under my feet.

You placed my foot on their necks.  I have destroyed all who hated me.

They called for help, but no one came to their rescue.
They even cried to the Lord, but he refused to answer.

I ground them as fine as dust in the wind.
I swept them into the gutter like dirt.

You gave me victory over my accusers.
You appointed me ruler over nations; people I don’t even
know now serve me.

As soon as they hear of me, they submit; foreign nations
cringe before me.

They all lose their courage and come trembling
from their strongholds. 

The Lord lives! Praise to my Rock!  May the God of my salvation be exalted! 

He is the God who pays back those who harm me;
he subdues the nations under me and rescues me
from my enemies.  You hold me safe beyond the reach of
my enemies; you save me from violent opponents.

For this, O Lord, I will praise you among the nations;
I will sing praises to your name.

You give great victories to your king; you show unfailing love to your anointed, to David and all his descendants forever.



I want what God wants for me- no matter what that looks like.  I want what He has for me because I know it is far better than anything I could ever want for myself.
It's just hard to understand sometimes and that desire doesn't always make our heart hurt less.

However, I am forever convinced that no matter what I do, what I go through, no matter how ugly it gets, and no matter how awesome it gets, there is absolutely, NO END TO HIS GOOD!

Now, how can I pray for YOU today?

Blessin’s Y’all!

Pamela 

I can be reached at Pamela@ACreativeWord.com

www.ACreativeWord.com

What Are You Thinking?!

Sigh.  I need to be rescued today.  My heart needs to be rescued today.

Do you ever need that?  Just need to be rescued from yourself?  From reality?

One of my most favorite things about God is He rescues me over and over and never seems to get tired of it.  He’s happy to do it- He’s just waiting for me to call out to Him.

Right now I’m in the throes of spiritual warfare because of something I’ve been called to do.  I’ve dealt with more warfare than I think I’ve ever experienced before.

 

Several months ago, the Lord told me that He was taking me to a new level of warfare.  He wasn’t kidding.  It’s just coming from every side right now, or at least it feels that way.  However, He never fails to meet me right where I’m at and equip me and strengthen me to fulfill His commissioning.  He’s always ready to give me exactly what I need, right when I need it.  I’ve experienced some of the most precious and beautiful moments with the Lord throughout this last few months that I wouldn’t have experienced otherwise.  He’s revealed Himself to me in ways that just blow my mind.  I don’t always like where I’m at right now, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything else.  He’s constantly taking me deeper into His love for me and my faith grows with every new circumstance.

 I spend a great deal of time in the presence of the Lord.  More than I think I ever have.  I have to- it’s the only way I can ‘do’ my life right now.  I love that time with Him and it’s not something that I take for granted.  So much is made right in His presence.  It’s where I find wholeness, peace, joy, healing, and restoration.  I’ve spent more time in the Word than ever- I can’t get enough of it; but the words that I cherish the most and get the most nourishment from, are the ones He speaks directly to my heart.

Lately- He’s been pointing me more and more to Philippians 4:8.  Because so much of the warfare I’m undergoing takes place in my mind, my thoughts are constantly bombarded with, ‘what-if’s, maybe I should’s, maybe I shouldn’t have’s, I wish I could’s.’

That is not the mind of Christ.  Those are not the thoughts that He thinks towards me, and that’s not how He instructs me to think.

2 Corinthians 10:5 tells us to take every rebellious thought captive.  That means that whatever doesn’t agree with God is rebellious- we’re to take it captive (stop thinking it) and change the way we’re thinking. 

We need to change our perspective and make it agree with God’s perspective.

Romans 12:12 tells us to not behave like the world, but be transformed by God and let Him change the way we think.

We can’t do this without submitting to His will, His ways, His thoughts, and His love.

More often than not, I realize that when I need to be rescued, I actually need my mind to be renewed.  I need to change the way I think and take captive and get rid of the thoughts that I allow to penetrate my mind.

God knew this would be difficult for humanity to do- He knew specifically, I would struggle with this.

As I keep running across Philippians 4:8, I realized it offers us a challenge: to ‘fix’ (set firm) our thoughts on certain things.
People, this is becoming an everyday exercise for me.

I go through the list:

What is true (God’s truth, not the world's)?

What is honorable?

What is right?

What is pure?

What is lovely?

What is admirable?

What is excellent?

What is worthy of praise?

 I find myself hiding posts on Facebook because I don’t want to see things that are going to pull my thoughts away from what God says.  I want to agree with God, in all circumstances. 

Unfortunately, too often I’m hiding things other Christians are posting.  A good example is fear.  Social media is driven by fear and it’s a tremendous trap believers fall into.  Fear of your food (everything in your food is going to kill you apparently), constant fear for your children’s health, fear of your home falling into a lake, fear, fear, and more fear. 

The enemy is the one speaking fear, because fear kills faith.  We’ve become so accustomed to it that we don’t even notice that’s what we’re feeding our minds. 
God says that we do not have a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a SOUND MIND. (2 Timothy 1:7)

More and more people are finding themselves in a place of oppression and depression and I have no doubt that letting our thoughts rule us instead of the other way around is a huge factor in that equation. (Did I really just make a math reference there?)
Now, don’t misunderstand me, I’ve dealt with depression for years, I understand there is a chemical factor, but I know that on really down days, if I put forth the effort to change my perspective- the way I’m thinking, and come into agreement with what God says, something definitely changes for the better.

 So- I’m extending this challenge to all of you- put more effort into what you allow to bombard your mind.  Especially when you’re having a down day and need to be rescued, or you just need a mental break, try it.

Come up with answers to the aforementioned (fancy, right?) questions.  Line up with what God says.  If you’re feeling fearful- remember that you are free from fear and you have power over fear (2 Timothy 1:7).

If you’re feeling anxious- remember that God says He’s got your back, He, Himself fights for you (Exodus 14:14).

If you feel like you’re going to be on the news (this happens to me a lot) – remember that no weapon formed against you will defeat you (Isaiah 54:17).

The most important thought I keep at the forefront of my mind: 

The enemy DOES NOT WIN.

Regardless of my circumstances, he’s already lost.

Now go, do, and be blessed!

 

Philippians 4:8 (NLT)

^“And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.”

 

Blessin’s Y’all!

Pamela

Visit our website at: www.ACreativeWord.com

I can be reached at: Pamela@ACreativeWord.com

 

Back to Work!!

  Psalm 34:4-7 (NLT)

 

I prayed to the Lord, and he answered me.

He freed me from all my fears.

Those who look to him for help will be radiant with joy;

no shadow of shame will darken their faces.

In my desperation I prayed, and the Lord listened;

he saved me from all my troubles.

For the angel of the Lord is a guard;

he surrounds and defends all who fear him.

 



April 15th 8 days post surgery!

 

 

Wow.  I can’t believe how long it’s been since I last updated, and I apologize for that.

Where do I even begin?!

Let’s start off with the really, really, really important news: I AM HEALED!!!!!

God promised to heal me through brain surgery and He most definitely did.

I continue to shock and awe my surgeon and neurologist because of how amazing I’m doing.

I have no more headaches, definitely no more migraines and they can’t really explain it.

It’s opened amazing doors to share just how awesome my God is.

 

I’ve had multiple opportunities to share this miracle with others- including nursing staff, ICU staff, doctors, internist, and just the Average Joe at Wal-Mart.

God is so good and He is most definitely a man of His word.

 

Let’s talk about the scripture above- I go back to work on Tuesday and I’m a little anxious about it.  I had a neuro-cognitive test done about a week ago and did really well.  I’m having some minor short-term memory issues (more so than average people do) and some difficulty finding my words at times.  This is all normal and my brain will learn to‘re-route’ itself in due time.  It just may take 6 months.  Most of you know how patient I am, so you know I was ready for it to be back to ‘normal’ yesterday, well, last week.

 

I’ve been off work for the last almost 8 weeks so it’s a little intimidating to come back- full time.  If I attempted to do part time, I’d just wear myself out trying to cram an 8-hour day into 4 hours.  Also, I’ve been gone, stuff has happened that I haven’t been a part of and I’m sure that a little feeling of being ‘left out’ of the loop will happen.  I think I’m also nervous that I’ll get really tired, really fast and just not be able to keep up.  I also have this nightmare that my desk is covered with paper and the phone won’t stop ringing and I’m completely overwhelmed and have a meltdown at work.  Yeah, had that dream twice now.  Super fun.

I know that I work with the best people and I have a lot of support and understanding and I so appreciate that.

Truthfully, I don’t want to be babied or treated differently than I was before.

I will say this- it will be awesome to get through a workday with no pain!

 

I really can’t express how much I LOVE not being in the pain I was in before.  I get tension headaches from time to time because I haven’t quite gotten totally comfortable sleeping yet and I keep pinching a nerve in my neck- doc says that will eventually work itself out too and that it’s to be expected.

 

There are no words for how much better I feel, just all the time.  I get tired, but I’m not sick anymore and it’s amazing.  I don’t keep emergency meds on me anymore, I don’t take any kind of pain medicine anymore (except for the tension headaches occasionally) and I just overall feel better.

 

People keep telling me that I look different- not just the hair, but that my face just looks different.  I look relieved and relaxed, not like I’m masking how bad I really feel.  I say it’s because I got half a face-lift.  Seriously, when they stitched up the left side of my head, it felt like my braid was entirely too tight for about 3 weeks.  I can actually see a slight difference in the beginnings of crow’s feet around my eyes.  It’s less noticeable on the left side. Lol

 

During this time that I’ve had off, I’ve rested.  I’ve rested my body, my soul, and my mind.  It’s been great, but I’m so ready to get back into a regular routine with my job (I’ve really missed my job) and people.  I’ve spent time with my family, my dogs, and worked on my home some when I had the energy.  I’ve spent time with myself and a lot of time with God.  It’s been amazing.

I knew that this surgery would change a lot of things about my life, but I don’t think that I fully grasped what it would do for me until I began to heal.  I’ve watched God intervene and do incredible things in my world- even still.

I’ll save that for another blog post, but I wanted to update everyone.

 

To everyone that came by, sent cards, texted, brought meals, and just visited me- I’m overwhelmed with the amount of love that’s been poured out on me.  I wish I could give it back 1,000 fold because y’all surely deserve it.  I am so grateful to the people that God has placed in my life.  Know that you have been noticed and I’m thankful to have you part of my world.

 

Once I get back in the swing of things at work, I’ll start posting again on a more regular basis and let you in on some incredible things God is doing in my life.

 



May 23rd, 2014

There is no end to His good.  There’s just not.

 

Blessin’s Y’all!

Pamela

 

 

 

I can be reached at Pamela@ACreativeWord.com

Please visit our website at www.ACreativeWord.com

 

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