I will say this though: it's pretty dang funny. This one's for you, Alicia!
Happy reading!
Published 2/22/12
Whatever you do, keep moving…or they’ll run your ass over!
Tonight was my very first experience with Zumba. I survived. That’s important. And believe me when I say it was touch and go there for a while... ;)
Here’s a quick recap of the evening…
The Cake…
• I’m going to kill my "friend" Pam. She’s the one that suckered me into going in the first place.
• This particular Zumba class is located in the mall. It costs Pam (not me) $5 each to get in and be tortured. With music.
• I was a nervous wreck. Like to the point of shaking because I hate trying new stuff like this in front of folks. Especially folks I don’t know.
• Once things got started, it wasn’t so bad. And by ‘wasn’t so bad’, I mean, crap started happening so fast I didn’t have too much time to freak out.
• It was fun. I will admit that it was fun- at times.
• I almost kissed a complete stranger as we were twirling about or stumbling around like a drunken idiot, depending on your personal perspective.
• Twice I fell into the wall.
• A third time, on purpose- because it was cold.
• At one point, I tried to convince my ex-husband that we needed to take salsa lessons ‘for fun’. I no longer feel that way.
• About halfway through the second song, I was pretty sure I was going to fall down. We still had 52 minutes left.
• Pam kept telling me what time it was.
• By song number 3, I thought I think I cracked a rib.
• By song number 6, I was pretty sure that I was actually having chest pains.
• By song number 8, I was positive that my lungs were about to explode.
• By song number 12, they were collapsing.
• Song number 13 brought the first Charlie horse of the evening. I look forward to many more throughout the night.
• By the time we got to the ‘cool down’ song, I thought I was going to die- and I couldn’t imagine how in the world I was going to make it to the truck. Much less drive home.
• The room reeked of sweat and some other funk by the time we were done with our hour- I’m not even going to pretend that I wasn’t ‘that thing you smell’.
• I had sweat in places I didn’t know you could sweat in. Those parts now hurt.
• The bottom of my feet hurt.
Now, for the icing…
• The tanning bed and I got a little too friendly yesterday. I’m sunburned.
• All. Over. My. Body.
• My sports bra has a little tag on the front that scrapes my skin every time I move.
• In Zumba, you move CONSTANTLY.
• So every time we were gyrating, I wanted to scream in agony.
• I did a couple of times. No one noticed.
• At one point, the lady that I almost made out with my accident, accidently hit my stomach (again, while twirling/stumbling about). I thought I was going to cry.
• Pam was going on after the class about how she couldn’t wait to get in to a hot shower. I almost hit her again because I couldn’t go home and take a hot shower.
• Ever taken a hot shower with a sunburn?? Ever taken a lukewarm shower with a sunburn?
• Firey needles is what that is.
• So yeah, when I finally summoned the strength to crawl into a lukewarm shower (I was scared to take a bath, mostly because I didn’t think I’d be able to get up and out and then Jenna or my mother would have to come ‘discover’ my sunburnt ass in the tub and no one wants that. No mother should have to see that). It was not a relief, it sucked.
• I took 5 Motrin and a melatonin and 9pm and was out cold by 10pm. It was an uneventful night to say the least.
• Until about 4am when I got a cramp in my foot. I started to call Pam.
• My arm hurt too bad to reach for the phone.
And here’s the cherry…
We’re doing it again next Tuesday night… Oh. My. Hell.
Picture found here.
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