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| If someone wants to do this for me in the mornings, that'd be great... |
**One thing I'm known for in my blog is my transparency; when it comes to spiritual things, it's pretty easy for me to show you my heart, even the ugly parts because I firmly believe that relation is the best tool of encouragement and ministry. However, when it comes the physical stuff, well, that's a little more difficult for me, mostly because it's a hot-button issue for me. My prayer is that through sharing this 3 things happen:
1) I stay motivated and held accountable for this new endeavor of getting healthy and fit
2) You're encouraged that you're not the only one that has ever felt this way about yourself
3) We all get to experience what happens when you trust God with the 'impossible'
Your thoughts of encouragement are always welcomed and I'm going to do my best to stick with this project and bring the funny!**
So I've decided that I'm tired of being fat. Say what you want to about me being beautiful (duh) but let's face it, I've let myself go- in a huge way. When the biggest clothes I've ever worn in my life are too small, we have a serious problem, and it's time to get drastic.
I've started the infamous 'Couch to 5K' program because I thought it'd be the easiest way to get into without dying.
I was wrong.
See, I have this problem. I used to be an avid runner. I ran every day- at least a mile (which was rare), rain, snow, sleet, or hail, me and that postman were out running. I loved it- it came fairly easy, and it was therapeutic.
That was 80lbs and 16 years ago.
Yeah, that's like a whole person. Talk about humbling and a little humiliating. I think for some reason, I believed that it wouldn't be as torturous as it actually is because I did it so well before.
Yeah, even that skinny girl back then would've struggled carrying a full size (albeit unhealthy tiny) adult on her back.
With every step on the pavement, I feel every single pound. Over and over. Yet, as much of a struggle as it is, I'm motivated.
I'm motivated because I don't want to be this way and I don't want it to be a struggle.
I want to be able to run the whole minute, every time it comes around instead of having to walk the last few intervals because I feel like I might die.
I run in my neighborhood, in the early mornings, while it's still dark out. One street in particular is covered in trees- normally, during the day, it's nice and relaxing, in the dark, it's a fun-house full of spiders. You know you're in bad shape when you actually don't care if spiders jump on you (they'd slide right off and probably drown from all the sweat anyway). Did I mention that I have a paralyzing fear of spiders?
Running also used to be my 'quiet time' with the Lord. I used to spend that time sorting out the struggles I was facing that day.
My prayers are now fairly simple and go something like this:
Start of warm-up:
"Father, thank you for this day and the ability to drag my butt out of bed and do this! I just love being out here alone with nothing but me and you."
After first interval of running...
"Father, thank you for helping me do that- it's a little painful, but thank you that I have the breath to do this!"
After the first 10 minutes of intervals (running/walking)...
"Oh *gasp* My *gasp* God! *pant, wheeze, pant, gasp* Please don't let me die out here, *deep breath* I'm so sorry *wheeze* for all the stupid crap *pant* I've ever done. If you let me live, I'll do less stupid crap."
5 minutes later...
"*ragged breath* When I die, *pant* please let it be in *wheeze, gasp* front of someone's house *pant, struggle for breath* that's already awake. *dry-heave* Lord, they're not going *gasp* to find me for *gasp* another hour! Please help *almost run into parked car, don't care* me not die... *intense revelation* I think I'm having a heart attack *clutching chest and gasping* and my leg is probably *pant/wheeze* broken. Please send someone *pleading and gasping* that knows CPR my way..."
At the end...
"Well, Father, I'm home now and I didn't die. Thanks."
Oh believe me, I was grateful, I just didn't have the energy to really express my thanks properly.
I'm so excited that I didn't die that I'm doing it again tomorrow.
Anyone that's available is welcome to camp out along my route and cheer me on or give me life-saving CPR when necessary.
I'm pretty sure this is how I look when I'm
running...but hey, at least I'm doing it!
Next time, I'll tell y'all about the homeless guy that I crossed paths with...
Blessin's y'all!
~Pamela
Ecard found here
Dog picture found here
